By Justin

Jose Valentin leads the league in mustache

Jose Valentin once hit a double. his mustache then pinch hit for the pitcher and also had a double. His mustache proceeded to pitch 2 scoreless innings.

Jose Valentin's mustache is 36% gold and 64% testosterone

Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin to get crumbs out of jose valentin's mustache

Jose Valentin's mustache is 53 grit

Jose Valentin graduated from Harvard in 1992. His mustache graduated from Princeton the same year.

Mariah Carey dumped Derek Jeter for Jose Valentin's mustache.

Jose Valentin's mustache is 2 months older then Jose Valentin.

It is impossible to cut Jose Valentin's mustache, although Mr. Miyagi once bent a hair.

Jose Valentin's mustache has 2 children.

A mustache ride with Jose Valentin really means that he can take you to any of the continental 48 states.

Jose Valentin weighs 190 lbs, with his mustache factored in he weighs 327 lbs.

Jose Valentin's mustache has been mistaken for the Batmobile on several occasions.

You can only destroy the ring by throwing it into Jose Valentin's mustache.

Jose Valentin's mustache IS the Loch Ness Monster.

The tides are formed by the direction Jose Valentin's mustache is facing.

Jesus hasn't been seen in 2000 years because he talked shit about Jose Valentin's mustache.

Jose Valentin's mustache has it's own area code....Japan.

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