Jesus VS Mario

For almost 2000 years, Jesus went unchallenged. Then in 1981, an italian plumber from Brooklyn named Mario Mario emerged on the scene and captured the hearts of millions by killing the evil ape Donkey Kong. The only thing in Mario Mario’s way was one man. And that man just happens to be the son of god, Jesus H, Christ. Who will win a Carpenter or a Plumber?

Name: Jesus H. Christ. AKA ‘The Son of God” and The Messiah
Height: 5’11″
Origin: Bethlehem, Israel
Job: Carpenter, Missonary, and Miracle Worker
Finishing Move: Christ Punch
Quote: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by Me.”

Name: Mario Mario. AKA Super Mario
Height: 4’2″
Weight: 220lbs
Origin: Brooklyn, NY
Job: Plumber and Princess Bounty Hunter
Finishing Move: Jumps on your head.
Quote: “Its-a-Me. Its a Mario!”

Jesus’s heaven is full of angels. Mario’s heaven is full of golden coins.
Point:

Jesus had to walk everywhere. Mario had a go-kart.
Point:

Jesus had 12 disciples who abandoned him. Mario had Luigi who looked so god dam the same.
Point:

Jesus’s enemy was Satan, Mario’s enemy was Bowser.
Point:

Mario was the high school football captain, went out with the head cheerleader and was prom king. Jesus listened to Marilyn Manson and sat at the lunch table alone.
Point:

Mario has a mustache. Jesus had a full Grizzly Adams beard.
Point:

Plumbers make more money then Carpenters.
Point:

Jesus was ripped. Mario is a fat Italian
Point:

Even though December 25th is Jesus’s birthday, millions of kids around the world receive Mario Video Games.
Point:

Mario has millions of followers. Jesus has billions.
Point:

All the Mario video games are classics. Jesus’s video games sucked.
Point:

Mario can shoot fireballs. Jesus could turn water into wine.
Point: tie

Jesus carried his own cross and was crucified. Mario was run over by a turtle.
Point:

Mario saved Princess Peach. Jesus saved HUMANITY.
Point:

Mario has up to 99 lives. Jesus had 2.
Point:

It was close,but the winner is:
MARIO!

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