Perfect for the rapidly approaching “Everyone’s Irish…and a drunk” holiday I give you the Irish Car Bomb Cupcake. One of the most amazing adult cupcakes you will ever eat. Recipe adapted from smitten kitchen.

Guinness Cupcakes Ingredients

• 1 cup stout (such as Guinness)
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (preferably Dutch-process)
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 1 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 large eggs
• 2/3 cup sour cream

What to Do:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F
2. Bring 1 cup stout and 1 cup butter to simmer in heavy large saucepan over medium heat.
3. Add cocoa powder and whisk until mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.
4. Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoon salt in large bowl to blend.
5. Using electric mixer, beat eggs and sour cream in another large bowl to blend.
6. Add stout-chocolate mixture to egg mixture and beat just to combine.
7. Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed.
8. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined.
9. Divide batter among cupcake liners, filling them 2/3 to 3/4 of the way.
10. Bake cake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, rotating them once front to back if your oven bakes unevenly, about 17 minutes.
11. Cool cupcakes on a rack completely.

****WHILE COOLING***

Jameson Ganache Filling

• 8 ounces bittersweet chocolate
• 2/3 cup heavy cream
• 2 tablespoons butter, room temperature
• 2 to 6 teaspoons Irish whiskey (I suggest adding to taste as always)

What to Do:

1. Chop the chocolate and transfer it to a heatproof bowl.
2. Heat the cream until simmering and pour it over the chocolate.
3. Let it sit for one minute and then stir until smooth. (If this has not sufficiently melted the chocolate, you can return it to a double-boiler to gently melt what remains. 20 seconds in the microwave, watching carefully, will also work.)
4. Add the butter and whiskey and stir until combined.

****ONCE COOLED (but still fluid)****

To Assemble

1. Using an apple corer (or small round cookie cutter) insert in the center of each cupcake.
2. Push about 1/2 to 2/3′s into the cupcake and pull out.
3. Throw removed cupcake into bowl and feed to the vultures begging for a taste (I know you ALL have people like this in your kitchen while you bake)
4. Spoon or pipe Jameson Ganache in newly created hole.

Baily’s Irish Cream Butter Cream Frosting

• 3 to 4 cups confections sugar
• 1 stick (1/2 cup or 4 ounces) butter, at room temperature
• 3 to 4 tablespoons Baileys (or as needed to taste)

What to Do:

1. Whip the butter in the bowl of an electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, for several minutes. You want to get it very light and fluffy.
2. Slowly add the powdered sugar, a few tablespoons at a time.
3. When the frosting looks thick enough to spread, drizzle in the Baileys
4. Whip it until combined.
5. If this has made the frosting too thin (it shouldn’t, but just in case) beat in another spoonful or two of powdered sugar.
6. Ice and decorate the cupcakes.
7. Bring to your St. Pat’s festivities and be the hit of the party

This past weekend, while television sets were tuned to The Black Eyes Peas halftime show, the Lingerie Bowl or even the Puppy Bowl, my house was a bit preoccupied. After a recent trip to Japan where I returned with a suitcase full of Kit Kat varieties, the best way to share the wealth was a full-on taste test party. If adding wasabi flavor sounds like a waste of a cream-filled and chocolate-covered wafer, then you need to read this post because it was actually quite delicious. Step into the world of odd candy and read on to find out what flavors did and did not please our palettes.

The current list of Kit Kat varieties is a list that asks “why not” rather than “why”. With just over 100 flavors available, most are produced only in limited runs and then sold either regionally or seasonally. Given these circumstances, I was able to collect 11 different flavors during my trip, and they were more than enough to put every party-goers sweet tooth to the test. Here’s the full rundown of everything that worked and every thing that did not:

“Daigakuimo” (Sweet Potato):

Sold in the “Chunky” bar format, this is an intimidating Kit Kat, weighing in at nearly give times the mass of a standard wafer. But did it actually taste like a sweet potato? Yes and no. The flavor was definitely there, but the candy was sweetened to the point of nearly wiping the flavoring out. Some of our taste-testers commented the sweetness made it taste more like a yam. Perhaps something was lost in translation, but I felt it would still be a bit over-sweet even if that were the desired flavor.

“Matcha” (Green Tea):

Matcha, referring to the Japanese word for finely-milled green tea, is a very traditional flavor in that culture. Having tasted several different varieties of green tea and green tea inspired products while in Japan, I can say that Nestle got the flavors perfectly in this candy bar. On that scale of comparison, it measured closest to the Starbucks green tee latte due to both of the products using milk and a bit of extra sweetness. Our taste testers’ enjoyment of it simply came down to their natural preference for green tea. Those who enjoy the tea loved the candy. The most common adjective used when commenting on this flavor was “smooth”.

“Ramune” (Soda Drink):

This two-pack of soda-inspired flavors provided a bit of a shock to the senses. The first, what our group thought was a cola-based candy, actually proved to have a root beer taste. Some noted that the candy was completely unremarkable, but others compared its flavor favorably to root beer gummy candies they had eaten in the past.

On the other hand, the second soda flavor was a complete dud. What looks to be a lemon-lime soda tasted closer to a lemon cleaning product or “something I never wanted to taste in my life”. We’ll need to clean that taste tester’s palette before we move on.

Strawberry:

Sold in the bite-size, or as the packaging states “Big Little!” variety, these little Strawberry treats were actually pretty delicious. While considered a safe flavor when compared to some of the others we would later be tasting, some remarked that it tasted too close to a fruit snack and not a chocolate-based product, while many others felt that they could down a whole package if presented the opportunity.

Soy Sauce:

A regional flavor sold only in the Tokyo area, this flavor was the absolute hit of the party. It’s secret? Soy Sauce Kit Kats taste nothing like soy sauce. Instead, the comparisons we drew comparisons to french toast sticks or even better: a large stack of pancakes dripping with syrup and butter. It even smelt like a hearty breakfast from two feet away. The more enterprising foodies of our group tried to decompose these flavors and settles on a blend of butterscotch and vanilla.

Wasabi:

Another regional variety and another surprise hit, Wasabi Kit Kats are only sold in the Kanto region of Japan. Now before you judge this flavor, you may need a bit of a primer on wasabi in general. What Americans think of as wasabi is actually an imitation product made from horseradish, mustard, corn starch, and food coloring. Real wasabi root still has a sharp and spicy kick to it, but it does not have the offensive “burn out your nasal cavity” effect that horseradish can possess.

The Wasabi Kit Kat proved true to the real wasabi taste as the spice was dull yet warm and present mainly in the aftertaste. It even drew comparison to the effect of drinking a whiskey, as both placed that lingering feeling in your chest. After much prodding, even the most hesitant of taste testers were convinced to try it and it receive thumbs up around the room.

Strawberry Cheesecake:

The last of the regional varieties, this flavor is exclusive to the Yokohama area. It can be summarized in short by saying it never truly did taste like a cheesecake. The flavors hit in two waves: first, the strawberry which most of our taste testers already knew they liked and second, the cheese flavor, whose foulness we will cover a bit later when we discuss the Cheese Kit Kat.

Orange:

Another fruit-inspired product sold in “Big Little!” form, this one actually fared even better than it’s strawberry cousin. The mixing of citrus and cocoa is not an unfamiliar practice. Chocolate Orange, anyone? Nestle manages to pull this off just as well with their own little bite-size confection. The key to this variety was providing the sweet citrus flavor without the resulting overly-sugared taste that so many previous Kit Kat varieties had been plagued with.

“Sakura Macha” (Cherry Blossom Green Tea):

We already knew that Nestle could successfully put green tea into a candy bar with the smooth and delicious Green Tea Kit Kat, but what was to be expected when mixing in the flavor of a cherry blossom? The answer was a fruit punch kick that was present almost exclusively in the aftertaste, in this case allowing the two flavors to complement each other. File this one under “unexpectedly delicious”.

Cheese:

The bane of our existence; not a single taste tester would take a second helping of Cheese Kit Kat if given the opportunity. While most felt this variety would work best with the sharp kick of a Wisconsin cheddar, this instead brought out the feeling of a soft cheese that had sat out for a bit too long. The flavor even came complete with a truly gag-inspiring aftertaste. Perhaps it was our fault for not dressing up and sampling some wine alongside our Cheese Kit Kats, but whatever we did to cross the makers of this flavor, we were sorry.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this review of strange yet familiar candy products from across the globe. All of the members of our taste test panel were very glad they had the opportunity to sample such products, but everyone went home with a stomach ache. With over 100 total flavors, perhaps we will have a round 2 some day!

]]> http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2011/02/the-kit-kat-taste-test-challenge/feed/ 0 http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2010/10/the-glory-of-the-great-pumpkin/ http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2010/10/the-glory-of-the-great-pumpkin/#comments Sat, 30 Oct 2010 00:14:25 +0000 Mary http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/?p=7715 It is pumpkin season. Personally, I can never get enough of pumpkin. I love decorating with them, smashing them to bits, and eating their delisous gooey innards. Any one who knows me knows that this time of year I go a little pumpkin crazy. There are just so many wonderful things this orange fruit can be used for.  With the goup of a baked culinary pumpkin you can make bread, muffins, cheesecake, soup, pasta sauce or filling, and I’m sure even more autumnal concoctions I haven’t even thought of yet.

Still no matter how many pumpkin recipes I try, my favorite is still the Honey, White Chocolate Chip, Pumpkin cookies I started making two and a half years ago. These cookies are morsals of pure autumn awesomeness.  I discovered the base recipe when my husband grabbed a honey recipe brochure from the Maryland Beekeepers Federation table at the state fair in 2008.  The cookies were an instant hit, demanded at holidays and expected when house guests arrived. It didn’t matter if it was a hot day in August (or a week before my wedding when I had the crazy bride idea of baking 4 or 5 batches to give as hostess gifts) I made these cookies for any one who wanted them. In fact, i lost the recipe when we moved a year ago, and went on a great search which ended with me begging the tiara headed Maryland Bee Queen for some way to get my hands on the red and white checkered brochure. A few emails to a woman in Indiana, and I am now in possesion of five brochures.

These cookies are perfect little bites of earthy and sweet. Over time I altered the recipe and the name. There is no better time to try your hand at making pumpkin any thing, and this recipe is a fantastic way to start.

White Chocolate Pumpkin Cookies

(makes about 4 dozen cookeis)

What You Need

-2 1/4 C all purpose flour

-3 tsp ground cinnamon (plus some to sprinkle)

-1 1/2 tsp ground cloves

-1 tsp baking soda

-1 C (2 sticks) butter

-3/4 C of honey

-1/4 C packed brown sugar

-1 C solid pack pumpkin (either made by baking a pumpkin or out of a can)

-3 tsp vanilla extract

-1 egg

1- 12oz package of white chocolate baking chips

Directions

- Preheat oven to 350

- Combine flour, cinnamon, cloves, and baking soda in a small bowl

- In a large bowl, beat honey, butter, and brown sugar until creamy

-  Beat in pumpkin, egg, and vanilla

- Gradually beat in flour mixture

- Fold in 1 1/2 C of white chocolate chips

- Drop a rounded teaspoon of dough on a cookie sheet (the dough is easier to handle if you put it in the fridge for a little while)

- Sprinkle the tops of cookies with cinnamon

- Bake for 11-12 minutes, or until the middle is soft, but the edges just start to brown

- Cool on a wire rack

-  Put remaining white chocolate in a heavy duty plastic bag or pastry bag

- Microwave at 10 second intervals, kneeding the bag in between until the chocolate is melted thouroghly

- Cut a small corner of the plastic bag (or use pastry tip) and drizzle over the cooled cookies

Both the dough and the cookies freeze well for future cravings.

In this volume, Amanda and Brandon tackle cookbooks that are good readin’ and eatin’, making meatloaf for your pathetic reserve boyfriend, and cathedral construction.

Recipes in this episode:

• Black Beans in Mango Sauce
• Savory Corn Cakes
• Gordon Ramsay’s Macaroni and Cheese

Listen to this Episode:

Episode 12: The Joy of Cooking Woodchuck

Buy the Books in this Episode:
Buying them from these links really helps us out. thanks!

1. Joy of Cooking: 75th Anniversary Edition – 2006
2. Gordon Ramsay Makes It Easy
3. I’m Just Here for the Food: Food + Heat = Cooking
4. Alton Brown’s Gear For Your Kitchen
5. The New Moosewood Cookbook (Mollie Katzen’s Classic Cooking)
6. Saucepans & the Single Girl
7. Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life
8. The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower, Book 1)
9. American Splendor: The Life and Times of Harvey Pekar

In this weather, it is hard to get motivated. Even on rainy days I can find some inspiration in the cleanness of the air to clean or write. When it’s hot, I just melt. I sit in front of the TV, in my central air, thinking about how I should really be outside in the sun.

I am seldom a coffee drinker at home; years of working as a barista have spoiled me. A cup of drip brew just won’t do. Plus, even in the cool bubble of my home, it still seems too hot to drink a cup of Joe. So, with thoughts of my fellow, caffeine craving pirates, I have put my coffee house knowledge to good use and been perfecting the art of make-at-home ice coffee.

You might say, well Ms. Barista, why can’t I just brew some extra strong coffee in my Mr. Drips and pour it over ice to cool it down? Because it’s gross, that’s why. Have some dignity when you slurp down your caffeinated goodness! I promise my methods will serve a much more satisfying drink.

There are two ways to go about this. The method you choose depends on taste preference, equipment on hand, amount needed, and patience level. For both ways, you will need some dark roast coffee ground on the french press setting (coarsest.) You can either grind your own beans, or purchase some ground from the store or your favorite café.

Chilled French Press: The quick way

What you need

- French Press

- French Press ground dark roast coffee

- A way of heating water (tea kettle, microwave, pot on stove)

- Timer

- A clean container to hold liquid in the refrigerator or freezer

What to do

Heat filtered water to 195-205 degrees, or just below boiling. Since I don’t have a thermometer at home, I let the water just start to boil, then turn it off and let it rest for a minute. Using too hot of water will burn the coffee, too cool of water won’t pull the goodness out fast enough.

While water is heating, pour your coarse ground coffee into the bottom of your French Press.

When water is ready, carefully pour about 10 ounces into the press and stir with a plastic or wood spoon (so as to avoid cracking the glass of your pot.)

Place lid on, but DON’T PLUNGE.

Set timer for four minutes.

After four minutes, slowly press the plunger down, pressing the grounds to the bottom and letting the oils float up.

Pour your coffee into a container and either place in the fridge or freezer long enough to chill (not freeze.)

When cold, pour over ice and fix it the way you like it!

Your French Press should give you a scoop and a recommended number of scoops to put in your press. My 12 ounce, magenta Bodum suggests .5 ounces (slightly less then a ¼ cup) of coffee grounds for hot coffee steeped for four minutes. In tinkering with strengths, I found that .75 ounces of coarse ground coffee (a full ¼ cup) to 10 ounces of hot water made a good strength for iced coffee. The trick is to find the right balance for you. If you want a more intense coffee, add more grounds not time. If you want a weaker brew, mix it with water after steeping, don’t skimp on the coffee. While it all seems as simple as pulling the delicious juices out of these brown grounds and drinking them, there is a good deal of science (SCIENCE!) to it. If there is too low a grounds to water ratio or if the grounds are left in water too long, the coffee will become over extracted and bitter. Using a dark roast (something described as full, round, heavy, syrupy) also helps to create a nice cup of iced coffee. Dark roasts are beans that are roasted longer then light roasts and, while the caffeine level is slightly lower, it provides a heavier, fuller tasting cup.

Cold Press: larger quantity, longer time

What you need:

- 2 4 quart containers

- ½ lb french press/ coarse ground, dark roast coffee

- 4 quarts of room temperature, filtered water

- A way of covering container (plastic wrap will do)

- Gold metal filter

What to do

Place coffee grounds in container, add water, cover. Let stand for 12-16 hours (this is where the patience comes in.) After the hours have passed, strain coffee slowly through filter into a clean container.

By using a gold filter, as opposed to a paper filter, you are letting all the flavorful oils pass through into the liquid. When hot brewing, particularly by french press, you can see a crema-like foam sitting on top of the coffee. It sort of looks like a Guinness that is half drank. This crema  is a richness and depth of flavor that gets strained out when using paper. A gold filter is a great investment, and should be used for your cold press and your drip coffees. You can find one to fit right into your filter basket in place of the paper, and it’s cost effective and environmentally friendly. Hooray!

We cold press our ice coffee at the downtown cafe I work at, but I think that chilled, french pressed coffee gives a fuller, darker iced coffee. Still  this cold press method is very popular and yields a cold coffee that can withstand the inevitable watering down by ice (unless you’re a purist and make coffee ice cubes.) You can mix either coffee concoction with milk, sugar, sweetened condensed milk, or splurge for a bottle of your favorite flavor syrup at your local café (usually about ten bucks.)

Before we know it, the summer months will quickly pass into September, so we need to embrace every hot, sunny moment. Hopefully these chilled beverages can help perk you up enough to meander out into the sun and embrace the long days of summer.

If you don’t like burgers, you’re probably a communist or perhaps a terrorist. There is nothing more American than a delicious, greasy, mouth watering piece of beef in a bun. There’s also nothing more American than a good cheap deal. I decided to compile a list of the best “cheap” burgers that the fast food world has offered up at $1.50 or less.

1) Burger King’s Double Cheeseburger (also known as the Buck Double)

The best cheap cheeseburger on the market. Two flame grilled patties, thick melted cheese, a bun, ketchup, and a few essentials. It’s completely delicious and only costs $1. It’s almost at the level of a burger you might have at a summer BBQ.

It weighs in at 410 calories, 23g of fat, and 70mg of cholesterol. The heart attack is worth it.

2) McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger (also known as the McDouble)

A cheesy delicious double cheeseburger made with McDonald’s mystery meat and standard issue McDonald’s chemical precision. It doesn’t match the flame grilled deliciousness of the Buck Double, but it almost comes close. It has a good pickle to ketchup ratio and also chimes in around a buck.

It’s also slightly more healthy than the McDouble, but it is still pretty badass. 390 calories of caloric destruction, with 19g of fat, and 65 mg of cholesterol.

If the Buck Double is Rambo, this is Ivan Drago.

3) The Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger

The Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger is the classic value menu cheeseburger. It is to value menu burgers what Seinfeld is to television. The foundation of it all, the zenith of its influence. Almost as good as it gets until some competitors refined their dollar menus.

This concoction of beef, bun, bacon, cheese and mayo supported me through periods of intense financial difficulty in college. Getting one of these bad boys made me forget how broke I was. It was like being celibate and every once in awhile getting 5 minutes with a supermodel. It was $1 but it didn’t taste a dollar.

In terms of nutrition, it cannot hope to rival the awesomeness of the Burger King Buck Double but it puts forth a good effort. It weighs in at 320 calories, 16 g of fat, and 50 mg of cholesterol.

I made a really great purchase at the farmer’s market yesterday, and I didn’t even realize it.  I walked up to one of the stands, looking for lettuce or asparagus, and what I found was zucchini blossoms.  Partially closed zucchini plant flowers were standing, bright and golden in the sun, with a sign next to them touting their nutritional qualities.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do with them, but it seemed like the kind of thing that was going fast, so I bought a bunch.  I also bought two gigantic zucchinis.

I got home and with thoughts about what to do with these flowers, I turned to the internet.  Type “zucchini blossom recipe” into google, and you will instantly be told that frying is the only way to eat them. Well maybe not the only way, but I was sold.  I also saw that stuffing them with goats’ cheese or cream cheese was popular, and this set my wheels spinning.

And with that ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my fried zucchini blossoms and zucchini medallions:

Serves 4-6

1 large zucchini – sliced into thick medallions

1 bunch of zucchini blossoms – rinsed and fully dried with the pollen bits removed

4 tablespoons of goats cheese

1 big bunch of fresh chives – finely diced

4 eggs

1.5 cup of flour

.25 cup milk (I used soy milk)

coarse salt

pepper

.5 cup oil – I used regular olive oil, but veggie oil would do fine as well

What to do:

Mix the goats cheese and chives together in a bowl until the cheese is soft and chives are evenly distributed.  Very carefully open each blossom and spoon the mixture inside, trying to fill about 1-1.5 inches.  Gently twist the flower tips to close the blossom.

In a heavy pan, heat the oil over medium heat.  Combine the eggs, milk, and .5 cup of flour in a bowl to create a slurry. Add salt and pepper to taste.  Spread the remaining cup of flour onto a plate.

Dredge the blossoms through the slurry and then the dry flour before placing into the hot oil.  Watch the blossoms carefully to see when the flour bits on the bottom start to brown and then flip.  Cooking time will vary with the temperature of your oil, but in general it should take about 2-3 minutes to cook.  Warning: don’t overcrowd the pan!

Dredge the zucchini medallions in the same way as the blossoms, slurry, then flour, before placing in the pan.  Use a similar method to cook the medallions, watching for the flour to brown on the underside of the medallion and flipping.  The zucchini will take a little longer to cook, about 5 minutes.  As stated before, do not overcrowd the pan!  Make sure you have enough room to flip the medallions without them touching one another.

Remove from the pan and place on a plate covered in paper towels and allow the oil to drain off.

I ate my fried tasties with sriracha, which countered the creamy goats cheese very nicely.

On the set of The Celebrity Apprentice, when Donald Trump stared at Bret Michaels across the board room table with his beady little eyes and questioned why Bret chose to make a diet drink instead of a regular drink (because he feels diet drinks are generally less popular), I grew even more annoyed at the devil’s advocate role he insists on playing in every board room elimination.  How dare he try to make Bret Michaels, my favorite celeb reality star ever, sweat while defending his drink of choice!  I’d been pulling for Bret to win from the beginning, and in my mind he was the underdog who would surprise everyone and win it all; I knew he’d have won it all, even though now many unfortunately assume he won on a sympathy vote from Trump himself after his unfortunate medical mishaps over the past few weeks before the finale.

However, once Bret was rightfully named winner of Celebrity Apprentice and the Snapple beverages both he and fellow finalist Holly Robinson Peete created in the final challenge hit stores worldwide, I saw eye to eye with Donald Trump for the first time.  Bret’s Diet TropARocka was nearly impossible to track down in stores, where Holly’s Compassionberry was popping up everywhere!  I first assumed that Bret’s was harder to find because he was the winner, so his must be flying off the shelves faster; but when asking employees at every deli, gas station convenience store, and grocery store I desperately searched, I was coming to learn that most people were unaware that there even were two kinds of Celebrity Apprentice Snapple.

“Oh sure, we have Celebrity Apprentice Snapple!” they would reply, and point me in the direction of shelves full of Compassionberry.

“Do you have the other Celebrity Apprentice Snapple? The Diet TropARocka?” I’d disappointedly ask.

“Oh…there’s another kind? We just have what you see stocked there,” they’d all answer, walking away.

My boyfriend knew of my frustration and disappointment, and turned to eBay to track me down my very own bottle of Diet TropARocka.  In 7-10 business days, my one precious bottle finally showed up and after hugging my boyfriend incessantly for bringing it into my life, I couldn’t wait to try it.  I soon learned it was well worth the wait! Bret truly did do an amazing job at creating a unique and tasty flavor; and adding in the cinnamon flavor that initially caused some raised eyebrows turned out to be just what the drink needed.

To be honest, I had no idea who Bret Michaels was until Rock of Love hit the Vh1 airwaves in 2007.  I guess I vaguely knew of Poison’s existence in the music world, but to me Bret will always be the reality star in that infamous bandanna that brings the right mix of humor to the less-than-real “reality” show drama found in all reality television, making him more charismatic than any other reality show “star” I’ve ever watched.  I watched all three seasons of Rock of Love, and when it was announced he’d appear on Celebrity Apprentice I couldn’t wait to watch him compete against celebrities such as Darryl Strawberry, Sharon Osbourne, and Rod Blagojevich; mostly, I was excited to see him on a television show with fully clothed people where every other word didn’t have to be bleeped out by television censors!

As I watched Bret surprise everyone (except me) and secure his spot as a finalist, I was twice as pumped to learn that the final challenge would involve Snapple.  One of my all-time favorite beverages, I enjoyed watching the process that goes into creating new flavors and bottles, and was twice as glad Bret was a part of it all.

I plan on saving my Diet TropARocka bottle, as any intense fan would, and displaying it next to the signed picture of Bret I obtained at a meet-and-greet he was doing in a bar in New York in 2008.  To me, it’ll be as great of a souvenir as the signed picture itself.  Watching Bret work hard throughout the show and put out a finished product that can be enjoyed by his fans throughout the world gives an even greater celebrity-fan connection. Rock on, Bret; your Snapple truly is awesome.

It is HOT in Ohio.  It broke 90° F today and has been so humid it’s almost intolerable.  All I want to do is sit on a shady porch with a cold beer and eat watermelon with friends.  Unfortunately, my research has me sweating in a buggy field for about 4 hours and sitting in my window-less office writing for another 4-5 hours each day.

So when I came home from school today, I consoled myself by making this light, but flavorful dish using some baby summer squash and zucchinis I picked up from the farmer’s market earlier this week.  I used some left over pasta that had been sitting in my fridge, but even if you had to cook the pasta, I’d estimate this dish would take you a max of 20 minutes to make, from prep to plate.  Perfect for a day when it’s too hot to be all up in your kitchen.

I ate this with a nice slice of spelt -flour bread that I also purchased from the farmer’s market, and a lemony summer ale.

Disclaimer: I decided to post this recipe after the entire meal was made, and thus am writing this from memory.  Not only do I have a terrible memory, but I am estimating the measurements of all of the ingredients.  Play with it and make it your own, and don’t fault me for my lack of precision.

Serves two

3-5 baby summer squash and zucchini – cut julienne style

1.5 cups of your favorite pasta (I used whole wheat angel hair)

3 cloves of garlic – pressed

a big ol’ handful of fresh basil (I picked a bunch off of my plant and didn’t really measure) – finely minced

extra virgin olive oil

parmesan cheese – freshly grated

coarse salt

black pepper

What to do:

While boiling water for pasta, clean and slice squash and zucchinis.  In a heavy pan, heat a small amount of olive oil over medium low heat and add squash/ zucchini.  Cook and drain pasta.

In a separate bowl, add three pressed cloves of garlic and fine minced basil.  Drizzle olive oil into bowl, stirring consistently until a desired consistency is reached (think salad dressing).  Add a pinch of salt and a healthy dose of pepper to pesto-like mixture.

Add cooked pasta to squash in pan and pour pesto on top.  Heat thoroughly, tossing occasionally until pesto is evenly distributed.

Plate pasta, grate parmesan cheese, then take a big bite and enjoy.

Not in a “hiding twinkies under the bed” sort of way though, more like I’m obsessed with making the perfect meal.  I worship whole grains and vegetables and esteem fruits as only a true foodie possibly could.  Additionally, I also take the time to think about where my food comes from and how it was made, which I feel is a crucial part of the process that many food enthusiasts neglect.

For perspective as to my conversion, you should know that one year ago my idea of a good meal usually entailed whole wheat pasta and with a nice canned sauce with maybe some added peppers, or a stir fry made from frozen vegetables over instant rice.

Nowadays I eat differently.

Tonight I prepared a meal which I would not hesitate to serve to my dearest friends.  It consisted of a salad of dark greens (arugula, spinach, and the like) with the best strawberries I may have ever tasted, which I bought from a farm stand this morning.  My main entre was a dish of fresh kale (which was also purchased at the farm stand), lentils, and caramelized onions over organic pasta.  Add in a couple of slices of freshly made crusty bread, and you ever have a meal fit to serve to your favorite person.

Perhaps most importantly though, you have a meal that you know where most of the food came from, and how it was made.  All of my ingredients were either from the farm stand about ten minutes up the road from me, or fresh and organic, with labels stating their state (country) of origin.  There were no preservatives or artificial flavors, no powders to add for flavor, and everything, with the exception of the pasta and lentils, was probably still attached to the living plant one week ago today.  Needless to say, shelf life is not a quality I value.

My supermarket experience has changed as my eating habits have evolved.  I find myself spending less and less time wandering in the dry goods aisles (with the exception of the rice/ beans, pasta, and spice aisles) and more time in the fresh food areas.  And indeed, my most important food transformation has occurred most recently, where I’ve begun to really look at where my food is coming from.  I mean, sure those tomatoes are organic, but they come from California which means they took a long drive on a diesel-powered tractor trailer to get to Ohio.  It’s a bit of a quandary when you have to choose between organic and local.

Today for example, I almost bought a package of frozen wild caught salmon. (From everything I’ve read, farm raised salmon are lower in nutrients, have higher levels of mercury, and are kept in deplorable conditions.  That combined with the fact that the U.S. is working hard towards sustainable salmon fishing, leans me towards the wild caught salmon.)  I was imagining all the delicious filets when I turned it over and read that it was a product of China.  Well there’s a deal breaker.  Not only does this package incur a huge shipping cost on the environment, but it also supports non-environmentally friendly fishing practices, so I put it back.  Life gets a little more difficult when you care about where your food comes from and how it’s made, but it also gets more delicious when you know that you’re supporting sustainable and ethical food practices.

People of the world, take notice to how your food is made!

Where and how was it grown?  Where was it processed and what ingredients are included?  If it is an animal, consider the conditions it was exposed to during its life and its diet.  All of this information is paramount to the health of everyone who eats these products.

My perfect meal would ideally be entirely grown by me or someone within my town and completely appropriate for the season.  For food items which I could not grow or acquire form others in my area, they would be organic and as unprocessed as possible.  It would be made by people who share my passion for sustainable and environmentally friendly food practices.  Most importantly, it would be fresh and taste delicious.

I’m headed to a barbecue this afternoon to celebrate the end of a semester and a friend’s successful thesis proposal (congrats Amanda!)  When I got my invitation, I thought long and hard about what side dish to bring.  Now I’m not knocking the old favorites, pasta salad, macaroni salad, potato salad, any other type of salad people would be likely to bring with them to a BBQ, but I didn’t want to risk making a dish someone else had brought.  However, I did want to preserve the essence of what BBQ side dishes are more or less about: an amalgam of items marinated in some sort of goop all in a cheesy-looking bowl that people can eat while standing up.

So with that thought in mind, plus the fact that many of my friends trend on the meatless side, I decided upon a terrific looking Mediterranean inspired salad, courtesy of Epicurious.   Of course when I went to get all of my ingredients, the Midwest pulled an “epic fail” and left me having to make some substitutions.  So now I present to you, the reader, the new (possibly improved, but most likely just good in a different sort of way) Mediterranean Couscous and Lentil Salad!!

Firstly though, here’s the original Epicurious recipe.

Modified recipe: serves possibly a thousand, but really more like 10 or so

1.5 cups lentils – I could not find the fancy lentils called for in the original recipe, so I opted for Meijer brand regular ol’ lentils (still tasty!)

1 cup couscous

3 tablespoons (aprox) red wine vinegar

1.25 cups water

.75 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 large cloves garlic – finely minced and sufficiently smushed

16 oz block feta cheese in brine – coarsely chopped into crumbling bits

4 large leaves with stems of rainbow chard – chopped

.25 cup fresh mint – finely chopped

1 cucumber

2 cups cherry tomatoes – halved

What to do:

Simmer the lentils in a saucepan with water for 15 minutes or so, or until the lentils are just tender, then drain and add 1 tablespoon of vinegar and salt and pepper.

Boil the 1.25 cups of water, then add couscous and salt. Remove from heat and let stand for 5 minutes.  Fluff the couscous with a fork and add 1 tablespoon of olive oil.

(I did these first two steps the night before to allow for complete cooling).

Make the dressing by combining your minced/smushed garlic paste and remaining amounts of oil and vinegar with a wisk.

Fold the lentils and dressing into the couscous and cover.  Refrigerate for a minimum of 3 hours.

Chop veggies and cheese and fold into salad just before being served.

…mmmmmmgoood.

With this one mix you can create biscuits, pancakes, waffles, pie crusts, crumb cakes, potpies, dumplings, and countless other things that I can’t quite recall at the moment. But really, isn’t that enough for you?!  The best part is the whole box is going to cost you less than 3 USD!  Well that’s if you buy store brand, but who doesn’t nowadays?  If you’re a stickler for name brand, its Bisquick multipurpose mix.

Now, I grew up on this stuff.  My mother worked full time while I was growing up, but she always wanted us to have nice dinners that had that “homemade taste” to it.  My most vivid memory would be something called “drop biscuits” where my mom would mix up some batter and drop dollops onto a sheet pan and bake them as is.  The result would be lumpy, crumbly biscuity goodness.

So, here’s what I did with the mix tonight.  I went in with the intention of making biscuits, and oh boy did I make some biscuits.  This was a really easy recipe which was provided on the back of the box.  However, I have to admit when it comes to mixing wet and dry ingredients I don’t usually follow the recipe to the letter.  Instead, I usually mix the two until I get a consistency that I like.

Now for the good part, dressing up those biscuits.  The first thing I did as soon as the biscuits were cool enough to touch was scarf one down plain.  De-licious!  I love biscuits.  I then took some egg salad I had leftover in my fridge and made a mini egg salad sammich.  It was really good as well.  As the crowning glory on my biscuit buffet I slathered the inside of my last biscuit with some nutella.  Perfect way to end my biscuity meal.  I still have some left over too, enough for a biscuit, egg, and cheese sammich tomorrow morning, or just some biscuits with butter and jam.  Oh, the possibilities are endless!

However, being a part of a clandestine organization isn’t all just fancy jewelry and laboriously avoiding inappropriate eye contact with your middle-aged, bearded, and loosely robed cohort, Keith, while smearing goat’s blood over your naked body in order to properly celebrate the Vernal Equinox.  No, it all starts with undergoing a rigorous initiation, centered on the learning of greatly important information.

Well, today, my friends, I invite you into my secret order: “The Clandestine Meal Munchers” a.k.a. “People Who Know Too Much About Fast Food”.  This revered order is a sect of individuals who are bound by a truth so bold and profound that abuse of said knowledge would tear a hole so large and ragged in the fabric of reality that it would make Cthulu himself loose all control over his big ol’ eldritch bowels.  I am, of course, talking about the knowledge of the Chipotle quesadilla.

That’s right, Chipotle offers a quesadilla.  You may now take a minute or two to wipe off the Mountain Dew from your computer monitors in order to explain to your significant others, parents, and/or pets why you excitedly screeched a vile obscenity.  All better?  Good.  Now where was I?

Ah, yes. When gazing upon that big burgundy-colored board you will see all manner of strange ethnic food options that the Aztecs never wished for pithy commoners to eat.  You will also notice, though, a complete absence of quesadillas as such an option.  For most, that would be enough of a signal to abandon all hope for a highly anticipated orgy of cheese and meat in their mouths.  Fret not though my friends, for below I will divulge the secrets of how to induce said orgy in your mouth.

They key to obtaining the perfect Chipotle quesadilla is preparedness.  You must know that this process is extremely simple and requires but two words from your quivering, cheese deprived lips.  You see, the quesadilla in question is available in a myriad of flavors spanning the Chipotle rainbow: steak, chicken, barbacoa, and carnitas (which is Spanish for AWESOME).

Now, before you actually go up to that counter and order your own chiquito slice of Mexican heaven, you must make sure there aren’t too many people on line… either before or after you.  You see, while the quesadilla is not a complex creation, it does require a lot of time to cook.  What they will do is tenderly procure a tortilla and delicately warm it up for just a second or two in the hot presser.  Then, they’ll lovingly sprinkle shredded cheese upon its interior and follow up by administering a healthy dose of your choice of meat (if any).  Next, they will take special care to fold the quesadilla, taking the greatest of pains not to let its contents spill out.  Finally, they will then press the quesadilla, thereby cooking it to a light golden brown complexion.

Now, if you’ve ever been to the house that Chipotle built, you’ll notice that my description goes against the standard protocol that the employees must adhere to.  The cheese comes first, and then the meat.  What?  That’s crazy talk!  It is… if you ask for a quesadilla during a lunch or dinner time rush.  Your order will sew chaos as your black apron’ed server has to rush his sorry, over worked self around the barrage of burrito bowls being systematically crafted.  Way to go, jerk.

Instead, for optimal Chiptole quesadilla enjoyment, the quesadilla should be ordered when there are few on line (especially in front of you) as to ensure that you don’t totally ruin the workers at the Chipotle’s day.  Also, this is in your best interest because it is pretty easy to forget about a cooking quesadilla.  If it’s cooked too long you’ll receive a piece of fast food road kill wrapped in a tin foil body bag.  It’ll bleed hot cheese onto your hands, the tortilla will crackle in your mouth like brown glass, and you know what?  You’ll deserve it.  I hope you choke.

And on that note, my newly inducted brother or sister, I conclude this induction into the hallowed halls of our Fraternity.  Until next time, that is, when I will divulge another secret menu item!

For me, baking is rarely just throwing things into my Kitchen Aid or bread machine and letting it go. It is a whole production. Putting on comfy clothes to get dirty in (I’m a very messy baker,) choosing my music, cleaning the kitchen before and after baking (a messy neat-freak, if you can imagine,) digging out the ingredients, running to the store because I always manage to start a recipe then run out of butter, and then settling in the kitchen to make my newest concoction. I like that it is a project, it gives me time to become completely enveloped in the moment. It’s almost impossible to think about the pseudo dramas of life when calculating a quadruple recipe or melting chocolate on the stove. It’s like blacking out in a delicious sugary haze. I lose track of time (other then my microwave timer telling me to rotate my baking pan) and just enjoy the moment and the anticipation of what is going to come out of the oven.

The back-to-back Maryland blizzard two weeks ago gave me both a relaxing week at home with my husband and a nasty case of cabin fever. So I decided to make some soup completely from scratch, without a recipe, and with whatever I had in the house. The end result was a butternut squash soup that I was pretty proud of. However, it also resulted in me having half a can of leftover pumpkin to use up and me tired of all my usual pumpkin recipes (I’m a bit of a pumpkin addict.)

So I busted out my polka-dot apron and my laptop. I wanted to make up my own recipe again, but baking is more of a science then cooking. It requires a certain ratio of dry to wet ingredients, a balance of base starches to flavor. I looked up a few recipes and combined the best of them. Behold: Pumpkin, white chocolate, apple, walnut muffins. They are a delicious mouthful.

I’m not gonna lie, I thought I was going a little overkill on the ingredients, but what came out of the oven was dense breakfast perfection. They aren’t overly sweet, but earthy with a touch of white chocolate and cinnamon. Amazing with some cream cheese smeared on them and a cup of hot tea. Good morning, lovelies.

This recipe makes about 24-30 small muffins.

What you need:

-2 1/2 c. flour

-2 c. sugar

-1 tsp. baking soda

-2 tsp. cinnamon

-1 tsp. nutmeg

-½ tsp. ginger

-1 tsp. cloves

-15 oz. solid-pack pumpkin

-3 eggs

-1/2 c. vegetable oil

-3 oz. cream cheese (room temperature or slightly warmed)

-3 c. combination of peeled and chopped apples (I used Fuji,) chopped walnuts, and white chocolate chips

Cinnamon Crumb Topping:

-1/2 c. flour

-1/2 c. sugar

-3 tbsp. melted butter

-1 tsp. cinnamon

-¼ c chopped walnuts

Directions:

A. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking soda and spices.

B. In a medium bowl (or electric mixer bowl) combine the eggs, vegetable oil and pumpkin. Mix wet ingredients until fully combined and smooth.

C. Slowly add dry mixture.

D.  If cream cheese isn’t at room temperature, microwave 15 seconds at a time until soft and blend with flour and pumpkin mixture. Fold in the chopped apples, chopped walnuts, and white chocolate chips.

E. In a separate bowl, Mix cinnamon crumb ingredients with a fork or a whisk until small crumbs form

F.  These muffins are dense, so only fill the muffin liners about half way. Fill to about three quarters of the way with the cinnamon crumb mixture.

G. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes, rotating muffin pan halfway through baking time.

H. To test if muffins are done, insert a clean butter knife into the middle of the muffin closest to the center of the tray. The muffin is done when the knife comes out clean (not counting melted chocolate.)

Especially on these dreary, slow winter days, I encourage a (highly temporary) cue from the 1950’s. Get in the kitchen and stay there, at least for an hour or two. Ladies and Gents throw on an apron, bury your hands in some dough, experiment with ingredients, and rock out using your spatula as a microphone.

Dinner Party/Special Engagement:

Wine is usually your best bet here – no six-packs at these events. That being said, the type of wine you bring is very important. If the people you are visiting are serious and discriminating wine drinkers, don’t bring White Zinfandel, because to them it’s a joke. You may thus be confused over red or white. Well, if you think they will enjoy both, bring two 750ml bottles. And you don’t have to break the bank. Go with a good Australian such as Malee Point or Yellow Tail.

If they’re not the most-serious drinkers and it’s a pretty casual dinner or Tupperware party, bring two 750ml bottles, one white (Pinot Grigio usually works) and a White Zinfandel. Whatever you do, DO NOT bring wine in a box. You may think it was acceptable in college (it never is). Franzia is to wine as spam is to ham ok?

Casual Social Gathering:

This can sometimes be a tough one. Do I show up with a 30 pack of Natty Ice? Short answer is no. Remember that showing up with a massive amount of booze inherently indicates that there will be massive drinking involved or that there will be a lot of people at an event. That’s fine if there is lot of people. If there are less than 10 people, don’t show up in that fashion. A 12 back of Miller/Bud Lite, or Yuengling is more than enough for something like this. If you are unsure of what people will like, and have no way of finding out, bring 6 packs, one of Miller Lite and another of maybe Killians Red or Sam Adams. And guys remember, girls love Blue Moon…

If it’s a group of very close friends, take your time and bring something special. If you smoke cigars, a nice, single-malt scotch or scotch whiskey will work. If people like beer instead go for a high-quality microbrew or specialty/import beer. Wheat or half-wheat beer is a good bet in the summertime, along with a light lager or ale due to their refreshing nature. Darker, richer ales are great for the fall, winter and early spring and are much more filling and packed with a variety of flavors.

Basement/Backyard Brouhaha:

Beer. How much and what kind? Depends on what you’re doing. Find out if there’s going to be a keg. If so, don’t waste money on crappy beer for drinking games. Bring something decent such as Yuengling or Corona for people who want something a little different. A 12 pack should suffice, and if you want something a little special for yourself and a few others, bring a 6 pack of Sam Adams (any variety). If there isn’t going to be a keg, then it’s ok to get a case of ok beer. Honestly, have some class and get Keystone instead of Beast or Natty Ice. Keystone will show your friends that you at least care enough to not buy the most-bottom rung “beer” you can find. You might as well bring jugs of dishwater.

And that’s about it for now. Hopefully in the coming months we on the staff will be bringing you a more detailed beer review, so stay tuned!

I’m an idiot!

About a month ago, my boss told me about the book, Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery that Revolutionizes Home Baking, by Jeff Hertzberg, M.D., and Zöe François. She raved about the versatility of the dough, how you don’t have to knead anything, and how the crusty loaves essentially make themselves. I was curious, so she gave me a copy of the “master recipe,” a French peasant bread called boule.

I mixed some yeast and salt. I added some warm water. I mixed in flour. I let it rise. It looked like bread dough! And it even smelled like bread dough! I baked up a free-form loaf with dinner that night, and I have not gone a day since then without at least a small amount of bread dough in my refrigerator.

The concept behind this book is simple: you can mix up a huge batch of dough, stick it in your refrigerator, and then tear off chunks of dough when you want to make a loaf, or some rolls, or what-have-you. The dough stays good in the fridge (covered, but not air-tight) for two weeks. Yes. Two whole weeks. In fact, the dough gets better as it ages, and starts to become more of a sourdough. Without a starter!

Sticky Pecan Caramel Roll with accompanying cup of coffee.

The book contains the master recipe, a chapter on peasant loaves, one on enriched breads and pastries (like Sticky Pecan Caramel Rolls), and one on flatbreads and pizzas. Craving focaccia? Want a homemade bagel? A bialy? Some challah? Cinnamon raisin bread? It’s all here. In addition, there are some great recipes for bread partners, like sour cherry preserves and olive tapenade.

I am obsessed with this book. (Could you tell?) For lunch today, I made a little calzone with some of the Light Wheat Bread dough, tomato sauce, mushrooms, and cheese. I’m going to use an old loaf to make some breadcrumbs later. I’m planning on making the Sticky Pecan Caramel Rolls a holiday and special occasion tradition.

I have also decided to stop buying and consuming commercial bread, made in huge factories for enormous companies. It’s comparatively tasteless, contains high fructose corn syrup (which is weird), and it’s expensive! I can make a far superior (and cheaper) loaf of bread at home with four ingredients: yeast, salt, flour, and water. Try making a loaf or two and see for yourself!

Simple Crusty Bread

(adapted from The Master Recipe: Boule [Artisan Free-Form Loaf], from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery that Revolutionizes Home Baking)

Makes four 1-pound loaves, but you can double, triple, or even quadruple it!

You need:

3 cups lukewarm water (NOT HOT. You will kill the yeasties and it will be sad.)

1.5 tablespoons granulated yeast (or two packets) (I just buy a little jar of yeast. It’s cheaper.)

1.5 tablespoons kosher salt

6.5 cups unsifted, unbleached all-purpose flour

Some more flour or cornmeal for your baking surface

1. Get a big bowl that you won’t need again for a while, and make sure it fits in your fridge. Add the warm water to the bowl.

2. Add the yeast and salt to the water. It doesn’t all need to dissolve right now, so don’t fret.

3. Mix in the flour with a spoon. You might need to use your hands for the last few bits of flours to get totally incorporate. Everything just needs to be uniformly moist, with no dry patches. Don’t knead! It should look squishy and it won’t hold its shape.

4. Let it rise for about two hours with a loose lid. I bought some cheapo plastic bowls with loose-fitting lids at a big box store, and those work really well. You want to trap the heat from the warm water and yeast without suffocating it. (Again, yeast creeps me out.)

5. For best workability, pop the bowl (with the lid still loose) into the fridge overnight, or for at least three hours. Cold dough is easier to work with than warm dough. Also, remember that with this recipe, it’s actually tastier if it’s a little older.

6. The day you want to bake some bread, you need to create a gluten cloak. Sprinkle some flour on your refrigerated dough, tear off a chunk, and then work on making a smooth ball of dough. Stretch the surface of the dough outward toward the edge, tucking the edges into the bottom. The bottom will become a bunch of ends that are squished together, and the top should be smooth.

7. Let it rest on a pizza peel or a cornmeal-/flour-covered pan for about 40 minutes, uncovered. Twenty minutes into the rise, set your oven to 450F. If you’re using a pizza stone (which works awesomely), stick that in to preheat, too.

8. Dust the top of your loaf with flour (not too much), and slash it into a tic tac toe pattern, or some lines, or whatever. This is to let steam escape.

9. If you’re using a pizza stone, slide your bread onto the hot stone with a flick of the wrist. If you’re using a regular pan, put it on the middle rack. If you want to steam your bread, follow step 10.

10. The book calls for “baking with steam,” and it works really well, if you remember. Most of the time, it slips my mind, and my bread turns out fine. To steam your bread, stick a baking pan somewhere in your oven during the second half of the preheat. Once your bread is in the oven, quickly pour one cup of hot water (careful!) into the preheated baking pan and shut the oven door. This makes the crust a little more chewy.

11. The bread will be done in about thirty minutes, but keep peeking at it through the door. When it’s a nice golden brown, take it out. It should make a weird crackling noise that will freak you out. This is good!

Ideally, let your bread cool before slicing, but come on, it’s hot, fresh, homemade bread!

Notice that baking the bread is way more complicated than mixing up a batch. You can do this! I promise! (If you have bread issues, the book has a great website that can help you.)

yields +/- 24 cupcakes

Sazerac Cupcake Ingredients

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• dash of salt
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 cup milk
• 3 egg whites (1/2 a cup)
• 1/4 teaspoon of anise (licorice) extract
• 1/2 teaspoon Peychaud’s bitters
• 3 heaping tablespoons rye whiskey Sazerac brand or comparable (NOT BOURBON!!)

What to do

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt, set aside.
3. Beat butter and sugar in a mixing bowl until smooth and well blended.
4. Turn mixer to low speed, add the dry ingredients 1/3 at a time alternating with the milk  1/3 at a time. Mix well.
5. Add extract, bitters, and booze.
6. In a separate bowl beat egg whites till stiff but still moist. Fold in gently 1/3 of the white into the batter, continue to fold in the remainder of the whites.
7. Pour into cupcake tins lined with paper cupcake holders. Pour 3/4 of the way.
8. Bake for 20 minutes.

***ONCE COOLED***

Whiskey Butter Cream Frosting

• 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened (a table spoon or more if you like a lot of frosting)
• 4 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 3 heaping table spoons Rye Whiskey, or comparable
• a few dashes of Peychaud’s bitters

What to do

1. In an electric stand mixer start by whipping butter.
2. Gradually add sugar. It’s been recommended to me to add a tablespoon at a time, this can take a while but really worth it. Helps to integrate the sugar into the butter better and when done right can save you some sugar in the long run.
3. Add the booze and bitters.
4. Add garnish as desired. (check out making life pretty for directions on Chocolate Filigree Fleur de Lis)
5. Frost and enjoy some N’orleans splendor. (Perfect for Mar di Gras!)

yields +/- 24 cupcakes

Rum Cupcakes Ingredients

• 1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
• 1 tbsp. Bacardi rum, or comparable
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 cup butter, at room temperature
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 large eggs, at room temperature
• a little lime zest and finely chopped fresh mint to taste, if desired.
  

What to Do

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees
2. Combine the buttermilk, rum and vanilla extract. Set aside.
3. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Sift and then set aside.
4. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the butter and sugar. Mix on medium-high speed until light and fluffy (about 4 to 5 minutes).
5. Reduce the speed to low, and add the eggs one at a time. Scrape down the sides of the bowl after each addition.
6. With the mixer still on low speed, add the dry ingredients 1/3 at a time alternating with the buttermilk mixture  1/3 at a time. Mix well.
7. Add mint and lime z est. mix until blended.
8. Pour batter into muffin tins.
9. Bake for 25 minutes.
10. Remove the cupcakes from the oven and let cool for 5 minutes.
11. Poke holes in the cupcakes with a skewer or toothpick. (the more holes the more booze)
12. Immediately spoon the rum syrup over the warm cupcakes and let them soak it all up.

Rum Syrup Ingredients

• 1 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/4 cup dark rum
• 1 teaspoon of lime zest
• a few sprigs of fresh mint

What to Do

1. In a small pot, combine the sugar, water and butter over medium-high heat.
2. Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring often.
3. Once the butter has completely melted and the sugar has dissolved, remove from the heat.
4. Carefully add the rum. The mixture will bubble and spurt so take care not to burn yourself.
5. Once you’ve mixed in all the rum, add the lime zest and mint and let the syrup infuse for 5 minutes before spooning over the cupcakes.

Mojito Butter Cream Frosting Ingredients

• 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened (a table spoon or more if you like a lot of frosting)
• 4 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 3 heaping table spoons Bacardi Rum, or comparable
• 1/4 teaspoon mint extract
• juice from 1/4 of a lime

What to Do

1. In an electric stand mixer start by whipping butter.
2. Gradually add sugar. It’s been recommended to me to add a tablespoon at a time, this can take a while but really worth it. Helps to integrate the sugar into the butter better and when done right can save you some sugar in the long run.
3. Add the booze, lime, and mint.
4. Add garnish as desired. (Mint would be nice)

Once cupcakes are frosted. Kick back and enjoy!

Recipe adapted from Cream Puffs in Venice

yields +/- 22 cupcakes

Apple Vodka Cupcake Ingredients

• 1/2 cup chunky applesauce
• 2 Tablespoons salted butter at room temperature
• 1 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup apple cider
• 3 Tablespoons apple vodka

What to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Mix flour, baking powder and baking soda together in a separate bowl. Set aside.
3. Cream butter and applesauce for 20-30 seconds.
4. Add sugar and salt. Beat until light and fluffy.
5. Add eggs & vanilla extract a little at a time, mixing well after each addition. Scrape down bowl as needed, beat mixture until light and uniform.
6. Add sour cream. mix til combined.
7. Mix milk and cider in separate bowl. Set aside.
8. Turn mixer to lowest speed, and alternate one third of the dry ingredients with 1/3 milk/cider mixture. Alternate until both ingredients are added in full.
9. Add the booze. mmm. I usually use “heaping” tablespoons.
10. Pour batter into cupcake liners, about 3/4 of the way to the top.
11. Bake at 350 degrees for ~25 minutes.
12. Remove from pans and move to cooling trays. (this may seem silly but it actually stops the cake from sticking to the bottom of the wrapper. No cooling trays? At the very least turn them skewed in the tins to let the cool air get to the bottom.)

****ONCE COOLED***

Apple Vodka Butter Cream Frosting Ingredients

• 2 Sticks Butter (maybe an additional tablespoon or 2 if you like a lot of frosting) slightly soft
• 4 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 3 Heaping Tablespoons (or until taste is to your liking) Smirnoff twisted apple vodka, or comparable

What To Do:

1. In an electric stand mixer start by whipping butter.
2. Gradually add sugar. It’s been recommended to me to add a tablespoon at a time, this can take a while but really worth it. Helps to integrate the sugar into the butter better and when done right can save you some sugar in the long run.
3. Add the booze.
4. If desired add food coloring. (I would have but the party I was going to had a blue theme so I went the colored sprinkle route instead)
5. Add garnish as desired. (cherry’s are standard garnish for the drink, and sprinkles always makes life better.)

once picture perfect bite in and enjoy the alcoholic goodness.

(technically for the over 21 crowd)

Disclaimer: your body can extract acetic acid from many foods.  It is not necessary to drink alcohol to produce acetic acid, nor can it be used as an excuse for drinking alcohol.  Sorry kids.

The process sounds simple enough, and the end result is actually something useful to the body, so why do you wake up feeling like crap after drinking?  Well kids, the intermediate chemical in the breakdown process is the source of all your agony.  Our villain of the night is acetaldehyde, a chemical which is quite similar to formaldehyde – you know, the stuff they use to preserve dead things –  and it’s an all around bad thing.  Acetaldehyde has been suggested to be a carcinogen and is just plain toxic in high doses.

And herein lies the problem.

The liver can become overloaded with alcohol, causing a build up of acetaldehyde, and leaving you with all those symptoms of a hangover until the molecules are completely broken down and out of the system.  There are other problems with drinking that can lead to hangover symptoms, but this is a big one.

Okay. So now you know why you have a hangover, all you’ve got to do is get rid of it so you can start your day.  After all, it’s already 1pm and you’re parents are coming to visit, you have a study session, or your dog really wants to play outside (that last one is my big problem). Well, I hate to tell you this, but there is no known cure for hangover symptoms, although there is no shortage of home remedies. Some of these include drinking a gallon of water over the course of the night – i.e. before, during and after drinking – eating certain foods that are supposed to relieve your misery and, curiously enough, drinking a little bit of the same alcohol you drank the night before, to name only a few.

My personal remedy is a two parter.

While I don’t believe it’s necessary to drink a gallon of water, I do try to drink a couple glasses during the night.  This is because alcohol causes dehydration, and that’s a surefire way to feel like hell the next morning.  Also, drinking a glass of water every so often is a nice way to slow down your alcohol intake and give your poor liver a chance to catch up.

The second part is the ultimate breakfast.  An egg and cheese sandwich, preferably on a semi-greasy biscuit or a crusty kaiser roll accompanied by a vitamin water is the best way I’ve found to relieve the gross stomach, headache and generalized “ick” feeling of a hangover.  I’ve been using this method for a while, and never really thought about why it works so well.  Turns out there’s some actual scientific support behind my breakfast of champions.

Eggs apparently contain something called cysteine, which is an amino acid that is produced by the body and found in high protein foods like pork, chicken, turkey, milk, cottage cheese, yogurt, red peppers, oats, granola, and others.  Cysteine has a number of functions in the body, most of which aren’t relevant for our purposes. However, cysteine is suggested to be useful in neutralizing the negative effects of acetaldehyde by speeding up the molecules metabolism into acetic acid.

The vitamin water is just a method of rehydrating and replenishing electrolyte balance.  I prefer vitamin water to gatorade because it has a lower sugar content.  I do not recommend drinking a sugar free sport drink or water as some amount of sugar is important to increase glucose production in your body.

So there you go, the biochemistry behind alcohol metabolism and my tried and true way to get rid of the “day after icks.” Enjoy, but remember… Drink responsibly kids.

Mango salsa.

Oh yeah. Even the most carnivorous of omnivores like salsa piled on chips.

This is a flavorful, home made concoction of vegetables that my friend, Diana, first introduced me to. She made a vat of it and froze some for me to try. Freezing is not suggested for this dish, but it did give me a taste that sparked enough curiosity to try to make it myself.

The recipe is simple and flexible, which is why I love it for get-togethers. Just walk into your local grocer’s produce isle, farmer’s market, CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) , or garden and grab your favorite veggies. While I don’t think you can go wrong with any vegetables you think will meld well together, I’ve found a good combination that brings out the flavor of each addition.

This recipe makes a large mixing bowl full. Variety is important to this salsa. Who knows, your guests might be so distracted by the colors that you can switch back and forth to the Puppy Bowl without them noticing…..

What you need

-Various colored peppers (I get 1 traditional green pepper and 1 each of sweet red and orange peppers)

-Small red onion

-2 ripe mangos (slightly squishy, but still firm and fragrant)

-1 ripe avocado

-3 large tomatoes

-Fresh cilantro

-Salt and Pepper to taste

-1 or 2 spicy peppers to taste (I always use jalapeño, but that is due mostly to a poor produce selection, I suggest a pepper with more taste to it.)

Simple steps

1. Wash all of your veggies well.
2. Place two of the tomatoes in a small pot of water. Let the water simmer until the skin starts to fall off.
3. After the tomatoes get soft, drain water and mash them with a potato masher. Pick out the cores and the skin. This will be the base for your salsa.
4. While tomatoes are simmering, chop all of the vegetables. Keep the pieces small, you want to be able to fit several pieces of different vegetables on a chip.
5. Peel the avocado and mangos and slice them similarly.
6. Finely chop the cilantro and add to taste. Cilantro packs an intense flavor, so start with 1 to 2 tablespoons. The rest of the bunch can be placed in a freezer bag and saved in the freezer door.
7. Add salt and pepper to taste. The salt helps the salsa hold its flavor.
8. Store well sealed in the fridge. Serve with tortilla chips or crackers.

I prefer to make this the day before serving it, so that the flavors have a chance to really mix together. It makes a good sized batch, so if you are looking to cut down the amount, try to pair it with crudités or another recipe that calls for similar vegetables.

To find the place with what has been named “the best hamburgers” in the city (even by the food network), you need to first find the Le Parker Meridien hotel in midtown, which alone is a challenge, as the hotel is only labeled with a small two foot sign on its gray brick front. Once inside the high-end marble lobby of this hotel, look for a giant red curtain in the back. Behind this giant curtain you will not find a wizard as you may think, but a small neon hamburger sign pointing to small door at the back of a hall.

Walking through this door is like walking through a tear in time and space. Gone is the beautiful up-scale lobby, replaced by a pure anachronism, a little space that could only be named The Burger Joint. The Burger Joint is exactly that and it does it at the highest level of skill. 70’s disco plays blasts over the servers, yelling names from behind a cramped counter blocked by a constant moving line of people ordering off of one of the simples menus I have ever seen.

The walls of The Burger Joint are covered in signatures and messages from New York royalty and celebrities. Being so off the beaten track, it is easy to imagine the likes of Tony Hawk, Rosario Dawson, Carson Kressley, Paris Hilton, Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, or Jimmy Fallon (and that’s just what I can remember seeing) would be found there eating a burger. Over where I was sitting was a message scrawled by the “SNL Class of ‘06″, including my current favorite Bill Hader. It is like a giant college dorm white board, but with Oprah and Tom Hanks.

Image courtesy of Flickr

The Burger Joint serves hamburgers, fries, soda, milkshakes, wine in plastic cups, and Sam Adams. If you can’t work out your order based on that menu by the time you are at the front of the line, you are sent to the back. It is that simple.

This eatery would only be a novelty if it just stood upon its strange location, its staying power is in its food. The Burger Joint may only do one thing, but it does it well. These are the best burgers I have ever eaten in my life. The meat is of the absolute highest quality, a unique mix of their own design that tastes like ground grade-a sirloin steak. Nothing is over thought-out about them. There is no blue cheese, special buns, or secret sauces. Biting into one of these burgers is perfection on a bun.

The fries are something special as well for the same reasons. Perfectly salted and thin, served in a paper bag, they take the simple idea of french fries and keep it that way.

For a place that relies strictly on word of mouth, The Burger Joint does incredible business. I asked one of the employees, who was handing a tower of beef patties to the cook over the register how many burgers were on his cart. “550 burgers,” he said. Astounded I asked him how long it would take to sell that many burgers, to which he said, “these are just for tonight. They will be all sold out.”. I was there on only a tuesday.

The Burger Joint is pure New York at it’s finest. After the first visit, I felt pure joy from finding such a hidden gem. If you make your way to Manhattan in your travels, go to Le Parker Meridien Hotel and pay attention to the restaurant behind the curtain.

The places we pick to eat are usually convenient. Perhaps the only time I see people go out of their way to find a new place to eat is on vacation. Away from what they know, people ask the locals where the best place to eat is, they hunt through travel guides for reviews. Sure you can hit the occasional clinker, but making these kind of discoveries and lead to new places to make traditions. Why not do this at home?

You may ask, “Why go completely out of the way for food?” Well, let me tell you about a little place called The Walpack Inn in Walpack, NJ.

The Walpack Inn is nestled deep in untouched woods, miles from towns and houses. Established in the 40’s, this restaurant has old-fashioned charm that can’t be bought or faked, feeling like it grew right out of the ground in that spot, as natural as any tree found in the forest. The entire eating area is in a greenhouse, with windows open right to the sky.

The food is tasty and well-portioned classic Americana. The menu is heavy on fish and meat, but that fits with the atmosphere. Each meal includes the salad bar. These kinds of endless salad bars seem to be harder to find today due to their cost, which is a shame because most people could use more fresh greens.

The Walpack Inn’s trademark food is their bread. Each table gets a gigantic freshly baked loaf of crusty rustic wheat bread. It is a meal in itself.

Undoubtably, what makes The Walpack Inn stand apart from everything else is the deer. The greenhouse windows look out on the endless field in back of the restaurant and the Inn sprinkles corn feed right next to the windows. As diners eat, they are joined by dozens of deer, who come to munch on the corn. This makes the whole experience completely magical.

A restaurant like this can only be found by taken the path less traveled and taking a food adventure.   For my family it has become a tradition, but it had to start with someone deciding not to go the the “usual place”.

What are your favorite unique dining experiences? Share them below!