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I joined a burlesque troupe here in Madison, Wisconsin, this spring, called Foxy Veronica’s Peach Pies. My burlesque name is Daisy Chains; I picked it because I wanted to have a first name I could use on its own, independently of the last name. And it’s pretty cute. I’ve developed a persona to go with my new stage name: a sassy, kittenish goofball. (And wouldn’t you know, that’s a huge part of my real-life personality!)

When I first thought about doing burlesque, my mind raced with images of sequins, feather headdresses, and glamorous fringed corsets. I couldn’t wait to try on these ridiculous, over-the-top costumes and style myself into a sassy, witty persona. It soon became apparent, however, that most burlesque troupes don’t have a wardrobe filled with gorgeous costumes for the taking. As it stands, burlesque is very DIY, craft-intensive, and time-consuming. It is awesome.

If you are in need of a hobby that combines dance, crafting, and being a showgirl (or boy!), burlesque might be for you. However, it takes more than that. Burlesque takes a great deal of passion–you shouldn’t attempt it if you don’t really want it.

Burlesque is multi-faceted. The dancing and choreography is one thing, but that (usually) comes after costuming. Costuming itself takes up a good part of my week.

Jo "Boobs" Weldon

For anyone who wants to get into burlesque, I highly recommend The Burlesque Handbook by Jo “Boobs” Weldon. She teaches the reader how to make pasties, dance with a feathered fan, take off a glove, and more. Neo-burlesque, the kind of performances you are most likely to see at a modern burlesque show, is Jo’s specialty, and she goes into detail about how you can become a sensation.

And if you don’t actually want to be on stage, but you like crafting, there are plenty of burlesque troupes throughout the country who would absolutely love to make use of your services. All the girls in my troupe are professionals in their everyday lives–real estate agents, nurses, theater directors, hairstylists, etc.–and finding time to sew sequins on things can be hard. Your efforts are appreciated!

While costuming and crafting are pretty nerdy, you can also nerd it up with your creative choice of song. I do a number to ‘N Sync’s “It’s Gonna Be Me,” where I play a Justin Timberlake-obsessed superfan. It’s not a song that people usually associate with burlesque, but the way I perform my character makes it fit.

Basically, if you’ve ever done cosplay and wanted to do more, you should consider burlesque. There are nerd-specific burlesque shows and troupes all over the country! In September, I’m performing at Geekesque Burlesque, a nerdy burlesque show here in Madison. I’m also working on a “pixelated princess” number for my regular shows.

For more information about burlesque, check out Jo Weldon’s blog, Daily Burlesque. And if you want to see me as Daisy Chains, “like” me on Facebook!

I have never been to Hawaii in my entire life, as a side note. Neither have I seen a tiger shark. I have also, quite obviously, never been oystering, or whatever it’s called. Just wait: you’ll see how I thought you killed oysters.

I love this little unfinished piece. It makes no sense, overall, since I definitely didn’t plan out the plot. I’m proud that I only misspelled three words: colossal, humongous, and cartilage. I love how creative my little brain was. (At the time, I think I was reading a lot of adventure books and I was obsessed with sharks because I was terrified of them.)

Whenever I move, or clean my apartment, I find the bright teal book I wrote Pearl Point in, all those years ago. I re-read it, laugh hysterically, and put it back. This time, however, I decided to share it with the world, because it is sort of awesome in a terrible way. However, I’m really annoyed that I didn’t finish it. It ends on a cliffhanger, and I don’t remember why I stopped writing, or where the plot was headed.

Did you ever write grand novels when you were little? Do you still have some of them? I want to see.

And now, for your reading pleasure: Pearl Point. I have reproduced it exactly as it is in my little blank book. Read it aloud for maximum effect.

******

Jenna looked over the edge of the rocky cliff. She sighed and remembered the past two years. It had been hard for them all. All meaning Paul Toanakan and Jenna Toanakan. Two people–one half dead and one ready for anything. She, Jenna remembered, was the adventurous one. Paul, her believed-to-be-gone cousin, had been bitten continuously by a tiger shark. The memories were painful.
It had all started one summer day on a Hawaiian beach. Jenn, with her long, black, shiny hair and skin like toasted coconut, had wandered a little too far from home. “I can’t go any farther,” Jenna sighed, “because of that colasall rock.”
Jenna gathered up all of her strength and threw her gear (water bottles, etc.) up to a ledge. She then took two leaves and two strips of bark. Jenna stepped on each leaf and her feet stuck on the sap. Then Jenna attached the bark on with sap. She had made mountain climbing shoes!
Hair in her eyes, hope in her heart, Jenna climbed and climbed. She finally got to the ledge. Jenna pulled out her sleeping bag and laid down.
*
“Jenna!” Jenna sprung up as she heard her name being called. “Jenna!” The voice bellowed again.
As Jenna got up and looked around, she saw, on the white sand, dark brown lines. A sign of oysters, Jenna though. For a moment, Jenna’s mind was on the oyster bed. Then she caught herself and started wondering about the voice.
“Jenna!” The voice sounded again. Jenna recognized the voice and called out, “Father!”
“Father!” Jenna called again and again. But, to no avail, her father couldn’t see or hear her.
She ran down the cliff, getting a scratch in every possible place. But, it was too late. Her father had given up.
Jenna darted around the huge boulder. Her eyes flashed to the wiry mess on the beach. “An oyster net!” thought Jenna. She picked up the wire jumble and headed towards the water.
Jenna dipped the net into the clear, shining water. An oyster, annoyed at being disturbed, opened his shell and closed it on top of the net.
*
Secretly smiling, Jenna pulled up the net. “One oyster,” thought Jenna. With that, she took a big stick and beat the oyster to death.
Once the death progress was complete, Jenna opened the oyster. Her eyes were as bright as lightbulbs. The pearl was humungus! With a shaking hand, Jenna reached down and picked up the pearl. It glowed like Jenna had never seen before.
“A couple more of these and my family can be rich!” thought Jenna. She looked ahead quickly as if to see if anyone was watching her.
As Jenna looked towards the setting sun, she saw a man swim out past the sign that said, “WATCH OUT FOR TIGER SHARKS!”
Jenna thought nothing of that because pro divers always went out and came back with huge 300 pound tiger sharks. The skins were used for clothing and handbags. Jenna shivered, realizing that her bikini was made of tiger shark skins.
*
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” screamed the man. Jenna ran to her gear and got a spear just in case of a shark attack.
But the man was silenced. Blood floated in the water. Death was in the air.
Jenna tiptoed quietly over to where the blood was floating and stared into the eyes of a tiger shark. This enormous 300 pound box of cartalige smiled and showed bloody gums and teeth.
Jenna gave a courageous shriek and plunged the spear into the shark.
The man who got killed by the shark was named Paul. Paul Toanakan. Jenna’s cousin.
*
Jenna was the only one who saw Paul being killed so of course everyone accused her. “Don’t do this! I didn’t kill Paul!” That was Jenna’s cry every night.
At last, she was old enough to live away from home. Jenna decided to live at Pearl Point, the place where she had caught the oysters. On the other side of the huge rock there were rock ledges big as houses and caves attached.
The ledge could be a porch. The cave could be her house. And all the little ledges inside the cave could be shelves. One big ledge inside could act as a bed. Yes! thought Jenna. I’ve got it made!
*
Jenna set out for Pearl Point that afternoon. The rock was on the far side of the island and would take all afternoon to get there.
Once Jenna got there, she made another pair of mountain climbing shoes and dipped them in melted plastic.
She then tied a rope to her suitcase so she could pull it up.
Tying the rope to her waist she climbed the rock. A sudden burst of pain came to her foot. As she looked down, she saw that her foot had been cut by a sharp stone. She knew that there could be an infection so she quickly scurried up the ledge that she had chosen.
When she and her suitcase were both in the cave, Jenna took an old T-shirt from the suitcase. She wrapped it around the deep cut until the pressure was so great, Jenna had to loosen it. Stepping lightly on the injured foot, Jenna quickly hobbled over to the ledge which she thought was suitable for a bed. She laid down, not caring about how hard it was. As she drifted into a deep sleep, she thought she heard a man scream, “Help me!” in a deep, strangled voice.
*
Jenna woke up to see that one of her favorite T-shirts had been stolen. A trail of bright red blood went from her suitcase all th way to the edge of the cliff. Looking over the edge, she saw nothing. Except a man. Wait! The man left a trail of blood which was dripping from his arm. To stop the bleeding, the man had wrapped Jenna’s Flamingo Club T-shirt around his arm.

Part 2, now with wayyyyy more cat! Enjoy!

I blab about some stuff I did at C2E2, point at a cat, and generally act a fool. Enjoy!

Classic Easter humor

Easter Parade (1948)

Generally the first (and possibly only) Easter movie that comes to anyone’s mind is this one.  Dancer Don Hewes (Fred Astaire) is devastated when his dancing partner Nadine  (Ann Miller), decides to break up their partnership to set out on her own. Don pics chorus girl Hannah Brown (Judy Garland) to prove that he can succeed in the dancing world with out Nadine. Full of old-time song and dance routines, this one comes highly recommended if you’re a fan of musicals (or Fred Astaire or Judy Garland).

Here Comes Peter Cottontail (1971)

Peter Cottontail (voiced by Casey Kasem; yeah, he’s old but come on, you know you remember him from when he hosted the the dance contest on Saved by the Bell where Screech and Lisa danced “The Sprain”) oversleeps when he is supposed to compete the next morning against the wicked Irontail to see who can deliver the most Easter eggs. Peter  loses the challenge and sees Irontail take over April Valley, where he makes numerous, unfavorable changes (such as making the only two egg colors gray and black). Peter makes his way out of April Valley and finds Mr. Sassafras, who presents him with time machine with a French-speaking caterpillar Antoine as the pilot. Peter and Antoine make their way back in time through all of the calendar holidays as they try to stop Peter from oversleeping and losing the contest in the first place.

It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown (1974)

What’s a holiday without a Charlie Brown special? (Side bar: how is there no St. Patrick’s Day Peanuts special? “It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown” exists, but there’s nothing for St. Patrick’s Day with Snoopy dressed as a leprechaun or something cute? Mind boggling!) Join the familiar Peanuts gang as they prepare for Easter and appoint Snoopy as the Easter Bunny. My favorite part is when Snoopy is helping Woodstock shop for a new home; Woodstock doesn’t get nearly enough play, which is a shame too because he’s so adorable. In this special we also witness Peppermint Patty having a difficult time making Easter eggs with Marcie, who somehow doesn’t have the slightest idea how to dye an egg. How is it that Peppermint Patty and Marcie have such large, annoying roles in both the Thanksgiving and the Easter specials??

The First Easter Rabbit (1976)

A Rankin/Bass production, Burl Ives (yes, the “Holly Jolly Christmas” guy) narrates the story of Stuffy the Rabbit (who looks suspiciously similar to Hocus Pocus, the rabbit from the Rankin/Bass “Frosty the Snowman”), a toy who magically comes to life and is given the job of delivering Easter treats to children in Easter Valley. Villainous ice creature Zero is determined to freeze Easter Valley to stop the holiday from coming – but Stuffy (with help from Santa Clause himself) sets out to make sure the children receive their treats on Easter morning.

The Easter Bunny Is Comin’ To Town (1977)
Tthis Rankin/Bass production follows very closely to the plot of “Santa Clause Is Comin’ To Town” (1970, also a Rankin/Bass production).  The Mailman decides to stop another rush of letters by answering questions about the Easter Bunny.  Fred Astaire (who seems to be involved with a lot of things Easter!) narrates the story of Sunny, a baby rabbit found and adopted by Kidville (a town populated only by children).  Sunny goes delivering eggs (which must be dyed to fool Gadzooks, the mean bear of the mountain) to a nearby town and discovers that there are no kids in the town – and  the rightful child ruler is being suppressed by his aunt. Citizens of Kidsville, with the help of Sunny and an old train engine, devise a plan to bring jellybeans, chocolate and eggs to this town. If you like “Santa Clause Is Comin’ To Town” and the Rankin/Bass stop-motion style of animation, you’ll likely enjoy this one too.

Bug’s Bunny’s Easter Funnies (1977)

When the Easter Bunny is sick, Bugs Bunny and friends try their hand at taking over the job. While one would naturally assume that Bugs would be the most suited for the job, Sylvester, Pepe Le Pew, Foghorn Leghorn and Daffy all want to try their hand at being the world’s most beloved rabbit.  Not on DVD, you’ll have to settle for watching this on YouTube or a VCR.

Tale of the Bunny Picnic (1986)

My all time Easter favorite!! Not necessarily a story dealing directly with Easter, it deals with bunnies and spring, so I count it as an Easter movie (yeah, it’s kind of cheating…but I love it so much I don’t care!).  In this Jim Hensen production, we’re introduced to the sometimes forgotten Bean Bunny (think the caroling bunny in “A Muppet Christmas Carol” and the star of the “MuppetVision 3D” attraction in Disney’s Hollywood Studios), whose brother tells him he is too small to help prepare for the annual Bunny Picnic.  Bean wanders off on his own and encounters the farmer’s dog, and tries to warn all of the disbelieving bunnies that the dog will ruin their picnic if they don’t do something. It’s up to Bean to come up with a plan to defeat the farmer’s dog by discovering what the dog fears and use it against him.  I hope and pray every year that this gets released on DVD, but for now I have to be satisfied just watching it on YouTube.  If you still own a VCR and want to buy the VHS, hop on over to Amazon (pun completely intended) and see what they’re selling for nowadays.

A Chucklewood Easter (1987)

Yeah, I’m still promoting the Chucklewood Forest friends from the 80′s that no one has heard of.  Join Rusty (fox cub) and Buttons (bear cub) as they are put on trial for stealing eggs after invading the secret home of the Easter Bunny. Also hard to track down, this is only available on VHS or via YouTube.

The Great Adventure Stories from the Bible: The Easter Story (1989)
Easter is, in fact, actually about Jesus and not bunnies and jelly beans, and a good way to teach  kids about the true meaning of Easter is via this Easter special.  I remember watching it in my CCD class, and it concisely explains the meaning of Easter to children in a way they can easily understand.  Told through the eyes of the Apostle Mark, you’ll see Jesus’ joyful entrance into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and then follow the story of Christ’s betrayal, arrest, crucifixion, resurrection and ascension into Heaven.

Yogi the Easter Bear (1993)

Not one I myself have ever seen, I discovered its existence while writing this article.  This special from the early 90′s showcases Yogi Bear and Boo Boo trying to rescue the kidnapped Easter Bunny; and is actually available on DVD, which I was not expecting.

Baby Looney Tunes: Eggs-traordinary Adventure (2003)

Granny reads the baby Looney Tunes characters a story about the Easter Bunny on the night before Easter, and Baby Bugs, Daffy and the rest of the gang set out to find out for themselves if the Easter Bunny is real.  Available on DVD and VHS, but still hard to track down from most sellers, and sometimes difficult to find in its entirety on YouTube, but worth it for just how cute the beloved Looney Tunes characters are as babies.

Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo (2004)

Roo, along with Pooh and the rest of the gang, pay Rabbit a visit to celebrate Easter. But instead of finding an Easter party, they find Rabbit holding a Spring Cleaning Day celebration instead. Roo tries to cheer Rabbit up and convince him to celebrate Easter. Seems to me like Rabbit consistently needs to calm the heck down in all of the Winnie the Pooh specials; if he mellowed out, I think the whole Hundred Acre Wood gang would have much more relaxing celebrations.

Got any Easter favorites of your own? Comment below and share!

Hey scurvy lads and lasses! This weekend, I’ll be attending the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo, colloquially known as C2E2, as a member of the press. This is the second year that C2E2 has been around, and I think it’s slated to become one of the big nerd events that everyone looks forward to.

I’m especially excited about the Eliza Dushku panel, moderated by Chris Hardwick of The Nerdist (and the outstanding Nerdist podcast). Chris will be recording the panel as an episode of the podcast, and I’ll be in the audience! (I’ll post a link when the episode goes up–listen for my schoolgirl squeals of delight.)

I’m also going to be helping out at the Space Sheriff and Happy Space Boy booth, so if you’re headed to the con, check out Artist Alley and look for a girl dressed up like a space cat. (Seriously.) You can buy Spanky Cermak’s awesome comic here.

If you’re in the Chicago area this weekend, I highly recommend checking out this event, which will be at McCormick Place, minutes from downtown. I know essentially nothing about Chicago, despite living a mere 3 hours away, but I know this: this weekend is going to be AWESOME.

Oh, and if you find me at C2E2 and mention the phrase “Bad Wolf Bananas,” I’ll hook you up with some sweet swag.

There’s probably someone in your life that’s said some phrase so many times that it’s basically lost all meaning. Well, I’ve been that somebody, and that stuff about the tattoo was my phrase of choice.

Since the day I became old enough to legally get one, I’ve been swearing up and down, over and over, that I was going to get a tattoo. I was going to permanently mark my skin with something I really cared about. And I had to care about it a lot. I didn’t want to find myself sixty years old, staring at myself in a mirror and wishing I had a time machine so I could go back in time and talk myself out of the huge mistake I had permanently affixed to my body.

So I guess that’s why I had that long hesitation. I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted. Sure, there was stuff I liked. Tons of stuff. But did I like anything enough that I was sure I’d like it forever? Ideas floated in and out of my head, and plenty of them sounded good. (At least at the time. Circa the year 2001, I was convinced a Gundam would look amazing on my back.) There was even an elaborate joke about a sword-wielding valkyrie perched atop a fire breathing dragon that had lasers coming out if its jeweled eyes, riding on a lightning riddled storm cloud. (Save that for the van.) But jokes aside, this was serious business. I had to make sure I got something I loved. That way I wouldn’t be crying over it when the year 2042 rolls around. (I would have been crying about that Gundam by the time 2002 rolled around. Still love the anime, but just not enough to have it taking up a quarter of the flesh on my back.)

I’m a lifelong nerd, so most of my ideas were in some way related to video games. And most of those ideas involved Final Fantasy. I’m a big fan of that series. I’ve played nearly all of the games (many multiple times). I collect the figures. I have t-shirts, and CDs, and even a collector’s edition can of that Japanese potion drink that’s based on the games. I’ve even cosplayed as a character and created a website dedicated to the franchise when I was in high school. Big fan? I guess I’m a huge fan. But did I want something, well, nerdy tattooed on me? If I’m going to go down that route, why not just get Mario chasing after Pac Man and waving around the Master Sword? (No offense if you have that tattoo. That would probably be awesome.)

When I sat back and thought about it though, I realized I’ve been a Final Fantasy fan for over ten years, and I’m not sick of it yet. Ten years is a pretty substantial amount of time – most celebrities can’t even stay married that long. I was convinced I was in it for the long haul. Besides, if I really cared about what people thought about me being a nerd, I wouldn’t proudly display my figure collection. And I definitely wouldn’t have started that website.

But embracing my inner nerd only solved one problem. Now I still had the big question of what exactly was I going to get? And where?

The “where” was easy – I wanted whatever it was on be on my lower back. No, not tramp stamp territory. Off to the left side, where people couldn’t really see it and where I wouldn’t have it in my face every day. If I can’t see it, there’s even less of a chance I’ll get sick of it.

But the “what” was a bit of a harder question. There were so many symbols in the series that I loved, or would at least look cool as a tattoo. The question I had to ask myself was, when I thought about Final Fantasy, what stood out to me? What appealed to me on a level that was greater than a video game? A personal level? This was going on my body, after all. Forever. Sephiroth’s face just wasn’t gonna cut it.

If you’re a gamer and a game has never personally affected you in any way, you haven’t played the right game yet. For me, Final Fantasy VIII was the game that set up the entire Final Fantasy series for me. It was the first one I played, believe it or not. In that game, you play as Squall Leonhart, a quiet guy who keeps to himself, convinced he doesn’t need help or companionship from anyone. He’s got some trust issues, and probably could have benefitted from some therapy. But by the end of the game – spoiler alert – the loner has changed his surly standoffish ways. He’s fallen in love, and he has people in his life – real friends – he can actually count on. I guess you can say I kind of relate to Squall. I’m quiet and tend to be one of those people who think they can handle everything on their own. That’s why I’ve always been drawn to the Greiver symbol that’s everywhere in the game. A lion’s head mounted on top of a partial cross, it graces Squall’s necklace, a ring, his weapon case and even some of the weapons themselves. It’s a pretty cool looking symbol by itself. But to me, it always symbolized strength. Courage. And an ability to triumph over obstacles. Isn’t that what every Final Fantasy game is about anyway? A couple of nobodies banding together to save the world?

That’s why I finally settled on the Greiver as my tattoo. To other people it might be meaningless or silly or even stupid. But I didn’t care. Because to me it meant something. And it was my body it was going on.

I was kind of shocked when I made the appointment and put down the nonrefundable deposit. I was really going to do this. I was finally going to get it done. The big day came, and although it hurt way, way more than I thought it would, I was really pleased with the results. Now, there on my back, is a permanent symbol of strength. Yeah, it’s tied to a video game. But when I’m sixty I’m gonna be on my couch, a controller in hand, playing Final Fantasy XXIX. Like said, I’m in this nerd thing for the long haul.

The finished product.

When it came down to choosing wedding bands that reflected “us” both my husband and I got a little discouraged.  Why should the ladies have all the fun with fancy and personality-filled wedding bands while the gents don’t have any other options but simple or bland?

There are options if you’re willing to venture outside of your local brick and mortar jewelry store! Here’s a short list of  geek-tastic rings for a wedding, anniversary or everyday wear:

For those with a penchant for steampunk – or who just like something to fiddle with, Kinekt has the most fantastic, unisex ‘Gear Ring’. Their product demo video is completely drool-worthy: Kinekt Design’s Gear Ring

Maybe you fancy The One Ring to bind you in holy matrimony?

Comic lover? Downright classy rings that pay subtle homage to your favorite superhero.

Awww.  I lessthanthree you too! ^_^

…or honor your favorite blog with one of these octopus rings!

click above to listen!

As the normal host, Jim heals from a broken arm, I am back guest hosting Wired Magazine’s Web Marketing and Social Media podcast with a very special edition of The Hopkinson Report.

On the last episode I hosted, I talked about how I’ve been creating my own web content, so I decided to talk to two people who I think are making some of the best web video out there, Grace Helbig and Michelle Vargas.

Grace and Michelle have been producing web videos for over two years and have amassed over 1 million views. Based out of Brooklyn, NY, their content is a mix of humor, random observations, parody of other YouTube videos, and music.

We talk about:
- The process of creating web video
- The ins and outs of promoting video
- The hazards of making oneself public online.

Of course, there is plenty of talk about nerdy things like cameras, video games, and Star Wars!

Click here to listen to the episode!

Ah yes, almost every conversation I have about my 360 preference ends with ‘You’re just doing it for the achievements.’ But so what? Why is that idea so prone to negativity? Is there a way to be an achievement addict and have a better gaming experience? I believe so, and I am here to stand proud and suggest that yes, in some ways it can be about the achievements, and not for the associated negative connotations, but for positive ones instead.
Achievements are added by game developers, and function as a sort of ‘checklist of completion’. Many of them are associated with attaining a particular character level, finishing a chapter, or completing the game. Some give Gamerscore for eliminating or collecting a certain number of something, whether it be a certain number of kills by shotgun or the gathering of feathers hidden throughout Italy.  My favorites, though, are the extraneous achievements that reward the player for moving outside of the narrative quest and as a result, add to the experience the developers would like us to have. If you are a completionist like me, having a well developed list of motivators is not only great for my own personal sense of accomplishment, but also helps me feel as though I have explored the game in its entirety. For example, I played an adorable little game called Mini Ninjas last winter. One of the achievements was to eliminate ten enemies as a boar (Boardom-10G). I may not have made it one of my goals to even use the spirit form to become a boar otherwise, but tusking ninjas to death turned out to be pretty entertaining. Silly and almost useless to the narrative, but fun nonetheless. A few of the LEGO Star Wars games reward you for using one character to break apart another such as using Anakin to destroy Vader (Undecided-10G), and one encouraging you to break up tiny LEGO Jar Jar 20 times (Crowd Pleaser-20G). And many games use their achievement list to insert some humor in unexpected places. Here are a few of my favorites:

• The Simpsons-You Pushed Start: Easiest achievement…ever. A funny homage to the show and a great way to start the game (even if the game wasn’t great at all). There was also a 0G achievement for dying a certain number of times in a row-like the mean spirited ribbing of a friend. Guitar Hero II had something similar with the Long Road Ahead reward for failing a song on Easy mode. Rewards for failure-awesome!

• Fable 2-The Party Animal & Pied Piper: Being rewarded for getting villagers drunk and then making them dance is pretty hilarious. Kind of like being a wicked puppet master in the name of hedonism. Also, Fable 2 gave you 5G for dying all of your clothes and hair black with The Goth. Apparently, Lionhead Studios was very upset with everyone for not changing their clothes enough in Fable 2, so I imagine we will see more of these type of achievements in Fable 3.

• Bully-Skidmark & Over the Rainbow: As a bully, it is very important to give the less fortunate their fair share of wedgies, and this achievement encouraged the player to let those underpants bind! Fifty people felt the pinch of my superiority. Less understandably, as a bully it is also important to make out 20 times with boys around campus. I giggled every time I seduced one of the closeted jocks.

• Assassin’s Creed 2-Red Light Addict: I paid courtesans 5000 dollars to escort me around. That’s right, 5000. I could have paid the thieves or just waited for traveling groups of people to blend with, but I chose the ladies instead. I’d like to believe they smelled nicer.

• Borderlands-You’re on a Boat! & A Sucker is Born Every Minute: Borderlands was chock full of humor, so it was unsurprising that a few of the achievements were tongue in cheek. You get You’re on a Boat for heading off the beaten path and getting in a boat. Then you get off the boat. Hooray for you! And it’s unlikely you can even hear the phrase without singing it, too. In the last of the DLC, the Crimson Armory, there is a Roadside Attraction called the World’s Largest Bullet. The bullet is right in front of you, can’t miss it. Yet there is still a collection box next to the door that is willing to take a ton of money from you if you are willing to pay it. Nothing happens. You are a sucker. Congratulations.

Ultimately, choosing a gaming console based only the rewards it gives you would seem to defeat the purpose of playing the game. Then you aren’t enjoying the journey any longer, you are focused solely on the praise. Along those lines I don’t think anyone is really ‘doing it for the achievements’, but I do think that placing specific goal-oriented achievements in games that take a player out of the linear quest actually enhances the gaming experience and adds an extra feeling of accomplishment. Being a completionist, I have often extended the playtime of many well-loved games by thoroughly exhausting the Achievement checklist (to the best of my ability). To me, that is worth being called an Achievement Whore.

You can read more of Jessica’s writing at her blog, www.itallstartedwithchronotrigger.com

I wonder why the male characters don't dress like this...

It was a long day, and I was frustrated. I wanted nothing more than to turn on my Playstation3 and play endless rounds of Red Dead Redemption Co-op. Putting on my headset, I started the game, looking for a posse to finally get my frustration out with.

The very first thing I hear when the screen finishes loading is “Oh my god is that a girl?!”

This happens often to me. Usually I laugh it off, unless it gets worse…which it did. To keep from being profane, I will simply say that this man used every vulgar word in the dictionary to describe the parts of me that made me a woman.

I switched posses, and after three tries I finally found a group that was okay with me being female. All I wanted to do was spend a few hours before going to bed playing a game that I love dearly, and I spent nearly an hour looking for a group that wasn’t going to sexually harass me.

Obviously women gamers have complained about this before, but I feel like it is a serious problem. Lets say, for example, I was sitting on the subway across from a man I never met before. If he started to say such things to me, I would have every right to call the police and have him arrested. What do I get on the PSN (PlayStation Network) system? An ignore button.

There are certain online games, such as ‘World of Warcraft’, that have active admin. There were several occasions on which I had to report males of all ages for sexual harassment, and usually they were punished. PlayStation’s ignore system doesn’t allow for punishment, and these males get away with something they could possibly get arrested for if this was face to face.

Men and boys thinking it is okay to sexually harass a woman online is one thing, but there is also the other side of the coin: the women who encourage them.

All multiplayer gamers have seen this. The girl comes onto Vent/PSN/Xbox live with her best valley girl impression. The boy who squeaks out “Do you have boobs?!” gets a giggle and a positive response. The two (or more) continue to flirt throughout the game, the boy saying the usual, vulgar things, and the girl eating up every bit of it. This girl, unbeknownst to her, is just fueling the fire. She makes the male player think it is okay to speak like this to other female players, ruining the multiplayer experience for all of us.

I love being a woman, and I don’t want to hide the fact that I am one just to avoid harassment. I don’t want to have to play male characters (even though many games either don’t give us female characters, give us over sexed female characters, or simply give us very few choices) and I don’t want to have to change my username, and my voice, to something more ‘gender neutral’ to do something I am passionate about, like gaming.

Xbox live does have a player rating system on it, which is nice, and like I said, many of the online computer games do have admin to regulate the players, but as far as I can see, the most you can do on PSN is block the player, or go out of the game to report them. I feel that both Xbox and PlayStation could come up with stricter rules on sexual harassment, or perhaps even implement an in game reporting system. As for the girls that encourage vulgar behavior, if you come across one in your gaming journey, please let them know what they are doing. Sexual harassment is never a joke. Just because you aren’t looking someone in the face, doesn’t mean your comments were any less hurtful!

I’m off now, in the rain, to a midnight release of the PlayStation Move. Maybe I’ll wear a baggy sweatshirt, throw some cheeto crumbs on my chin, and tie my hair back. The last thing I need is for the people waiting in line to make wet t-shirt contest jokes.

I’ll admit it…Labor Day weekend is here, and that means I’m getting pumped for fall.  I wouldn’t want to live in an area of the country where I couldn’t experience apple and pumpkin picking and brightly colored leaves, and I love that living in the Hudson Valley exposes me to such great Halloween-themed events during the month of October.  Here’s my list of the Top 5 must-sees in the Hudson Valley during this time; due to their growing popularity, most require purchasing tickets a few weeks in advance, so research the options early!

1. Forest of Fear (Tuxedo Park, NY)

Once the New York Renaissance Faire ends, the grounds of Sterling Forest are converted to the Forest of Fear, and open every weekend in October (“Shock-tober,” as their ads often refer to it) for guests to enjoy some haunted fun.  Brave visitors line up to walk through the Slaughterhouse, and carnival style rides, spooky sideshows, and talented performers outside this intense haunted house round out this chilling experience. This attraction has been dubbed the third best haunted house attraction in America by Haunted Attractions Magazine, and New York Times ranks it among their top ten haunted attractions.   Not recommended for children under 8 – or adults who are big scaredy cats.  I went to this a few years ago, and waited in line for about 30 minutes to enter the Slaughterhouse – only to discover that I am not nearly brave enough to slowly walk through each room with my eyes open.  I ran through the entire thing in under 5 minutes and wound up missing a good portion of all the cool scares and effects that everyone else who exited leisurely after me raved about!  If scares aren’t your thing, you may want to offer to babysit the other children you’re leaving home that night.

2. The Great Jack’O’Lantern Blaze (Croton-on-Hudson, NY)

Head to Van Cortlandt Manor for what is quickly becoming the Hudson Valley’s most publicized Halloween event.  Walking though a display of more than 4,000 individually hand-carved pumpkins, visitors enjoy massive spiders, dinosaurs, ghosts, goblins, pirates, animals and even pyramids either made up entirely of (or carved in unique patterns on) pumpkins of all shapes and sizes.  Be sure to keep an eye on small children – the pathways are not well lit as the

pumpkins are appreciated best in the dark, and I’ve seen children easily get misplaced.  Watch your own step as well – people always seem to wind up tripping over cobblestones along the way! The best advice I can give for getting to this extraordinary event is to buy your tickets well in advance either online for via phone; every half hour they allow a certain number of people onto the grounds where the pumpkins are displayed, and all time slots between 6:30pm (when the first group is let in) and 9:00pm (when the last group is let in) sell out very quickly.  Do not try to buy your tickets at the entrance – you will be turned away! Dates for the 2010 Blaze are as follows: Oct 2, 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 28, 29, 30, 31, and Nov 5, 6 and 7.

3.  Jonathan Kruk’s Legend (Sleepy Hollow, NY)

The 1685 Old Dutch Church (across from Philipsburg Manor) is the oldest church in New York – and the perfect venue for storyteller Jonathan Kruk to captivate audiences with the familiar tale of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  Not only is it cool to listen to the Legend of Sleepy Hollow while being IN Sleepy Hollow itself, Kruk’s dramatic re-telling of this timeless story (which features well-known characters Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman) is set to spooky organ music by Jim Keyes to further set the mood.  Kruk will tell this tale on Oct 15, 16, 29 and 30 every hour between 6pm and 9pm, and tickets should be purchased in advance to guarantee admittance.  While I have never seen Jonathan Kruk tell this story (or any other story, for that matter), I am eager to attend this event this year. I have enjoyed storytellers at the New York Renaissance Faire in the past, and researching Kruk online peaked my interest in him specifically, as he is highly praised by school teachers (who use his enthralling story-telling ability to teach their students) as well as fans of his who attend his other annual events throughout the year at Philipsburg Manor and Boscobel.

4. Horseman’s Hollow (Sleepy Hollow, NY)

New this year, this haunted experience at Philipsburg Manor exposes visitors to ghosts, vampires, witches and the like who are stuck in the Hollow serving the Headless Horseman himself.  Visitors walk a haunted trail around the grounds, viewing a town driven mad by the Headless Horseman, and should expect startling special effects that bring the experience that much more to life (or, probably, to death, as the theme would have it).  Surviving the initial haunted trail means you get to navigate the Headless Horseman’s Lair, where you can view bloodied corpses of previously unlucky visitors.  All the websites and articles I came across advertising this event warns that it is not for small children – which probably means that scaredy-cat adults, like myself, should also stay home (or just stick to the Legend of the Sleepy Hollow reading across the street!).  It is also warned that adults who suffer from claustrophobia, seizures, and/or heart/respiratory conditions should consider sitting this one out, too.  This event will run Oct 15, 16, 22, 23, 24, 28, 29 and 30.

5. Legend Celebration (Tarrytown, NY)

This daytime celebration at Washington Irving’s Sunnyside is kid and family friendly – and takes place during the day!  Legend of Sleepy Hollow puppet shows, assorted games and crafts, 19th century magic shows, live music, and spooky story walks (but nothing too spooky for children to handle) are all set up throughout the Sunnyside grounds Oct 23, 24, 30, and 31 from 10am-4pm.  Visitors are encouraged to enjoy the day in their Halloween costumes.

Been to any of the above events yourself? Have suggestions of other places within the Hudson Valley to visit during the fall? Comment below!

When did you start drawing your comic?  Why did you start drawing your comic?
I started when I was 17.  Spring of my junior year, if I remember correctly.  Like many webcomic artists I was inspired by the success of “Mega Tokyo” and “Penny Arcade,” so I thought, “maybe I should try that.”  So I came up

S.P. Burke

with this simple comic, based around my friends at the time.  My friend Jeff created a site and it just went from there.  Then I went to college and it kind of fell by the wayside, but I kept thinking of new stuff for the characters do to, or stories I could tell.  Once I graduated and moved home, I kind of fell into that post-graduate malaise we all fall into, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  Then I thought about all the stories I had saved up and just started the website and story from scratch, completely rebooted it.  It’s been running ever since.

You also do stand-up comedy. Do you take jokes from your routine and put them in your comic and/or vice versa?
A few, but not as many as you’d think.  Stand-up kind of allows me to express a comedic side that the comic can’t, in terms of audience reaction and jokes I tell.  My opening line for a while has been: “My girlfriend and I just took our relationship to the next level.  We took a pregnancy test and it came up negative.  Isn’t that a beautiful moment?”…Yea, I dunno how that’ll fit into the comic any time soon.

Do you have a political agenda in writing “Oh Goodie!”?
Not really.  I did a few political comics during the high school run, but I lost interest around 2004 after Bush got re-elected.  I like to think my politics have become a bit more nuanced than far-left or far-right, so I don’t like to be didactic pushing a certain agenda.  Plus you gripe about nothing but politics, you date your work very quickly, and I want my comics to at least try to be timeless.  My only criteria is this: if the rights of a sentient tax-payer who isn’t breaking the law is being infringed on, I’ll call bullshit.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? I detect feminist over/under/in-between tones.
I was raised primarily by my mother, so I’ve always had feminist leanings.  But I’m a bit embarrassed reading comics from my high school days, because you could just see what a horny teenage geek boy I was.  So when I started the current “Oh Goodie!” run I made it a point to have my ideology straight when it came to how I portrayed women.  I read a lot of stuff by Jessica Valenti, who presents a lot of great insights on modern feminism and engenders a lot of discussion on her blogs (feministing.org).  I still draw sexy ladies on occasion, but I try to compensate by making every character (inluding the women) as three-dimensional as possible.  I think some creative people have this problem, where they want to create interesting characters but still kind of give in to their baser desires.
Actually this conflict I had kind of informed how I approach my female characters and how I portray them.  They all kind of represent different sides of myself when it comes to my relationships with women.  Aiyeese, for example, is mostly unconcerned with sex so it’s not important to her.  Shira, by contrast, is VERY sexual, bordering on being a female chauvinist.  Shizuko is awkward so she has a hard time expressing herself sexually with actually people, so she does it through fan-fiction and doujinshi.  And Koriko is just content and happy to be herself.

Are the characters based on people you actually know?

Yes and no.  The initial batch in the high school version were.  A lot of people ask if James is me, and I tell them he’s the 17 year-old version of me, warts and all.  Lee is based off my friend Jeff Chow, who helped me build my first website.  But nowadays most of the characters are amalgams, along with just my own invention.  Aiyeese’s core is my friend Mojdeh Stoakley, who’s an independent musician here in Chicago (themojdehproject.com), but other aspects of her personality include Elanor Smith and Stefanie Taylor, two actress friends of mine here in the city.  What’s unique about those three is I’ve been real close with all three of them, but nothing romantic has ever really developed.  So that’s kind of informed James and Aiyeese’s relationship: they’re not really attracted to one another, so they feel relaxed when they’re together.

Have you always been good at drawing?
I’ve always had the aptitude, if that makes sense.  I remember I was drawing at a very early age.  But there’s always stuff about your art you can improve on, even if you don’t think so.  If I were to give advice to anybody who wants to be a serious artist, I’d tell them to learn the hell out of proper perspective and proper human anatomy.  When I was a horny teen I had a real problem with what you call “basketball boobs”, which is wear the artist draws females like they have two basketballs grafted to their chest for breasts.  I was lucky to have teachers who beat that into me, but some artists don’t regard it at all.  My art is still very stylized and the proportions are often exaggerated, but they’re not impossible.

Are you familiar with Ellen Forney‘s work? Your stuff looks a lot like hers… but I like yours better!
I was not actually before you brought it up!  To me her art is like a combo of Dan Clowes and Alison Bechdel, whose work I am a fan of.  I love wild edgy black and white comics like that, so I’ll have to check out more of her work.

Where do you see the comic going in the future? Print comic? TV pilot? FEATURE FILM?!
I’ll be compiling and self-publishing all the comics I’ve drawn so far at the end of the year into a bound volume.  Aside from the comics it’ll have unused comics, sketches, and notes from myself.  I even have a title: “Oh Goodie! Vol 1: Introduce Yourself”, named after the Faith No More song.  I also hope to re-design the website and find a way to sell my t-shirt designs for cheaper.  I don’t like to sell anything for over $20, aside from originals.
I dunno about a TV show or a movie.  One of those 15 minute Adult Swim shows might work, cause I can get right to the point and not add extra story until you’re sick of it.  The only way I’d consider a movie is if it were animated like the film Persepolis.  I think that style would be perfect for my work.

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Ben and Jerry’s Cinna-Bons.  Every bite is like a tiny hug.

How do you draw/upload the comic? It’s so crisp!
The comic itself is 50% analog and 50% digital.  The bulk of it is drawn on Canson Fanboy Bristol with Speedball Super Black ink.  The average strip is 9 inches wide, shrunk down to

A recent panel from "Oh Goodie!"

800 pixels wide for the site.  My primary tools are Windsor Newton #2 brush, a Faber Castell F-tip pitt pen, and a Staedtler 0.1mm pigment pen for really thin lines.  I scan it into Photoshop with the Black & White setting so it doesn’t pick up any of the blue line pencils I use before inking.  The lettering is digital, based off a font I myself created.  I also add little details with my Wacom Tablet.  The little white streaks in Aiyeese’s hair?  All digital, FYI.

What advice would you give to someone who is interested in getting their stories out there?
Try to make sure it’s the best story you can make it.  Are your characters three-dimensional?  Do you have some idea where you want the story to end up?  What’s the ultimate point you want to make?  If you have strong foundations like this, I think it’ll encourage you to keep going and you won’t give up so easily like so many webcomic artists do.

We met at the Chicago Comic Con. Do you go to a lot of Cons? Which ones are your favorites? Do you get a lot of new readers from Cons?
I had hit exactly three cons before you met me in Chicago, but I’m hitting three more this fall in various places around the Midwest.  My next one is the Cincinnati Comic Expo on Sept. 18th.  I’ll be there with Eric Adams of “Lackluster World.”  I’m hitting a bunch of small press shows, which I think are more my speed than bigger events like the Chicago Comic Con…and we’re guaranteed our disgraced former governors won’t be signing autographs there.

There’s a lot of sexual tension in your comic. The characters are in high school. Do you think this aspect of the comic is realistic?
It certainly reflects my high school experience, which informed the story.  But really, I’m not necessarily concerned with reality.  I’m concerned if it fits for the characters.  I will say all my characters are in that stage where they’re either really brazen sexually or they’re really nervous and awkward, which makes for a lot of humor let me tell ya.

Who are your favorite comic creators?
When I was developing my current visual style I was on a real kick split between Marjane Satrapi and Jaime Hernandez.  I loved how they made black and white drawing really seem like an art, and I love how three-dimensional their characters are.  But I also really love Bryan O’Malley, and still have a soft spot for Jhonen Vasquez.  If we’re talking mainstream though, I can’t get enough of Amanda Conner.  Her recent run on “Power Girl” is everything comics should be: fun, sexy, and awesome.

Who/what are your favorite comic characters?

One of my favorite characters of all time though (and you’re not gonna believe this)…Sailor Moon.  And not just because she’s a cute teenage girl fighting monsters in a short skirt (although that helps).  It’s because of one reason…she’s a total crybaby who runs away from a fight.  When I first saw that, I thought that was awesome.  Stuff like that makes your characters relatable and interesting, not to mention entertaining.

Do you think that most great characters are kind of based on the creator?

I think the best stories are the ones where the creator lets their life experiences inform whatever situation their characters are in.  I guarantee someone who came up with a really complex interesting story was probably very interesting themselves, and led a very interesting life.  Old-fashioned imagination works too.

How did you develop your artistic style? Was it a lot of trial and error, or did you just start drawing and that’s what came out?
It was a ton of trial and error.  What you see on the website is probably six solid months of weeding out everything that worked and everything that didn’t before anything even made it online.  I’m disgusted even looking at my work from a year ago, nevermind eight years ago when I first started drawing comics.  I refer to it as a constantly evolving process to start sucking less…that’s not pessimistic at all, is it?

Is cartooning your passion in life? If not, what’s your passion? The thing you can’t live without and wouldn’t WANT to live without?
Cartoons are what I’m best at.  My real passion is rock music, and I think that comes across in most of what I do.  That’s why I try to write music reviews whenever I can, and I’m hoping to record some music in character as The Filthy F@#$ing Fairies.  Which means you may hear “If You Wanted A Slut, You Should’ve Dated Your Sister” someday soon.  Move over “Stairway”!

You can read S.P.’s comic at OhGoodie.net. (And you should.)

Visit http://davelossoart.blogspot.com to see more of Dave’s art

Visit OhGoodie.net to read S.P.’s awesome comic!

Red Version nostalgia...

The first time I played a Pokémon game was in 1998 — I have many fond memories of long car trips and rainy days discovering and catching little pixelated creatures.

Nearly 12 years later, I got nostalgic and picked up a copy of Pokémon Heart Gold, a polished re-make of my favorite game in the franchise, Pokémon Gold.  After cracking the seal on the box and popping the game into my DS I fell in love with Pokemon all over again.  The gameplay was exactly what I expected from a Pokémon game in 2010 — refreshing color graphics and an oh-so-adorable passel of digital critters.  Also included in the box was a small Pokéball shaped pedometer with a belt clip: the Pokéwalker.

The Pokéwalker

The Pokéwalker has small LCD screen and three command buttons functioning as select, forward and back. As you walk, you earn a currency per step called “watts”.  The watts you collect can be used to play mini-games like dowsing to earn items and rustling grass to catch Pokémon. You can also earn special items by connecting the Pokéwalker to a friend’s Pokéwalker. Any items or Pokémon caught, collected or earned while you’re on the stroll all are transferred back to your Nintendo DS when you connect the game-pack and the pedometer.

I was a little sceptical of this Poké-pedometer at first.  I was about 4ish hours into game-play when I found some time to bring Ulysses, my level 13 Cindaquil, with me to meet up with some friends at a craft fair nearby. I was pleasantly surprised by how fun it was to collect watts while simply doing my daily walking.  I was even more excited when my friend Beth pointed enthusiastically at my waist and proclaimed, “Is that a Pokéwalker? I have one with me too!”.  Subsequently, we connected our Pokéwalkers, got in-game items, and Ulysses and Beth’s Mareep went on adventures.  It was simply thrilling!

Cindaquil

Ever since my first day just running around with the Pokéwalker, I’ve experienced some unexpected benefits. Here’s a short list of what I’ve discovered while living the ‘Pokéwalker lifestyle’:

Pokéwaker in action!

1. When walking with a Pokémon I tend to take longer routes to get to where I am going, encouraging a less frenetic pace.

2. I’ve been immensely surprised about the number of friendly and adult (gasp!) Pokéwalker users there are. It has been an amazing way to connect with nice people in random places.

3.  I find that I ran faster and longer on the treadmill with my little buddy, racking up watts to play the mini games. It’s quite the motivator!

When I was little, I never thought that Pokémon would still be popular when I was in my mid-twenties, but I’m oh so glad it is.  I’d recommend picking up a Pokéwalker to any Pokéfan — even if you’re too-cool-for-school.

When I was a preteen gamer, I loved playing Super Mario, Zelda and Dr. Mario. I was lucky to have a little brother who asked for console systems for Christmas and birthday gifts, so by the time I was a teenager, I was grinding levels in Final Fantasy III for the SNES (having already kicked some Shadow Link ass in Zelda 2 for the NES). Without Jordan, I would never have become the adult gamer I am today. While I was asking for things like My Little Pony houses and Barbie dolls, he was making sure we had copies of Ghosts & Goblins and Friday the 13th in our house. By the time I realized that girly junk wasn’t really my style, we had graduated to the SNES.  I was knee deep in Chrono Trigger and painting watercolors of Magus in high school art class.

We were always a Nintendo family.  No Sega Genesis in our house. I didn’t even play one until high school when a friend introduced me to Sonic while listening to Blue Oyster Cult on vinyl (pretty good mix if I say so myself). There is even an XBAND story from our youth: our first real digital connection with a gamer community and a place to play Killer Instinct with strangers. For those who are confused, imagine a less functional version of Xbox Live without any pretty colors and graphics. ( Weirdly enough, I also remember receiving a lot of creepy poetry from teenage boys with handles like “Church of Satan”. I guess teenage girl gamers in the early 90s weren’t as prevalent as they are now, so the novelty was noteworthy.) We moved from Nintendo to Sony to play Final Fantasy VII and by the time I was in college I had an SNES of my own and a PS2 that I used to play a lot of (drunken) SSX Tricky with Jordan and his friends. From there it was a hit and miss ride with whole years passing in between games. It was a Guitar Hero 2 session with Jordan that brought me back to my roots via the Xbox 360 and I’ve been here ever since-and more passionate about it now than ever before.

I was thinking about video games in relation to my brother this week because he finally broke down and bought a PS3 to primarily stream media via Netflix. Although Jordan was the purveyor of the video game paraphernalia in our childhood household, he has left a majority of his gaming life behind. He’s now a savvy business owner and outdoors-man, preferring faraway travel and mountain cabins to consoles and controllers. But for the first time in our adult life, where I am now the primary gamer in our family, Jordan and I have been reconnected via the PSN and I felt a little nostalgic for those days when we used to play together as kids. Jordan may only play Guitar Hero and some Katamari now (hopefully I can talk him into at least trying things like Bioshock and Assassin’s Creed), but just having my brother there makes me happy.

For more writings from Jessica, check out her blog, “It All Started With Chrono Trigger…“

Naughty Sand People. Impolite!

My first con is over (sad), but I am super pumped up about life right now (happy!). I met some fantastic artists this weekend, and I’m excited to share them with you!

I used my Flip cam to take little video interviews of some of these artists, and I’m going to be posting them soon! I learned a lot about nerd stuff.

First, though, I want to quickly set down in text how I felt about the con.

I had an amazing time, and I want to go back right now, even though I’m exhausted.

Seriously, I didn’t expect the feeling of community and solidarity that I got throughout the weekend. There was one moment that really stood out to me and made me swell up with pride.

Last night, I went to the launch party for Mafia II at the Hyatt Regency. There was a DJ. It was rad. Relatively early on in the evening, he played Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Everyone sang. Everyone danced epically. Everyone on the dance floor came together for a few minutes and enjoyed the same thing. There were people there who are into video games, people who are into television shows, people who are into collecting one specific comic book, but for those minutes, we all liked the same thing. I understand that this sounds mildly ridiculous. However, it was not. It was glorious. Artists and journalists and fans all dancing and singing. *Sigh*

And then there was a lightsaber battle on the dancefloor.

the guy in the white shirt was RIDICULOUS.

Stay tuned for more con updates… when my brain is less mushy.

A lot of movies are based on these things called books. Books are (usually) filled with kind of original ideas, and typically they have a beginning, middle, and end. Not always. Anyway, these days, it seems like quite a few of these moviefilms are based on books.

This can be awesome. I appreciate being able to see my favorite characters come alive on screen, because when it’s well-done (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one shining, silvery example), it rocks. I love seeing wonderful love stories from fiction turn into visual representations of romance.

However, I am also a book person before I am any other kind of person. This is not good sometimes because it makes me look like a picky jerk.

“I really liked that,” I’ll say, as we head out of the theater, “but the ending in the book is so much more _____.” Or, “In the book, those characters were developed more, so that relationship felt truer.” Or, “There are things in the book that cannot possibly be translated to screen, so that didn’t feel as satisfying.”

Usually, the people I go to the movies with look at me and say, “But you liked it, right? Isn’t that what matters?”

This is where I have a conflicted soul. On one hand, the movie is a separate entity from the book. Most movies based on books are just that: based on them. They are not the book in visual format, they are adaptations of the books’ themes, characters, and plots. I should be able to enjoy a movie for its entertainment value and inherent merit, rather than basing my judgment on my own interpretation of a source material.

On the other hand, they get it wrong so often. Let’s take The Box as an example. The story it’s based on, “Button Button,” by Richard Matheson, is seriously one of the creepiest, skin-crawlingest stories I’ve ever read. It’s such a short, simple, and brutal story. The ending has no closure, you don’t like any of the characters as people (even though you barely know them), and Matheson puts such an eerie twist on the end that I had to put the book down for a while after I finished that one. As far as simplicity goes, there are three main characters in the story. It takes place in a New York City apartment. Matheson doesn’t “show you” any violence.

The movie is an overly complicated mess. They cast Cameron Diaz as Norma, the main character, so they had to make everything a little younger. They gave the main characters a kid. (In the story, Norma and Arthur never had children.) There is no room in big Hollywood movies, I think, for simple, little, terrible (for the characters) stories. “Button, Button” is a small story: there are no explosions or gunshots, and the characters’ lives don’t really affect anyone else.

I don’t think people realize that words can do things that visuals cannot and vice versa; imagine trying to read a traditional fiction version of Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life. That would be ridiculous. Just as ridiculous would be to expect a film version of a favorite book to match up to the actual text. I definitely need to lower my expectations.

I’m really trying to just sit back and enjoy movies based on books, instead of looking for inconsistencies; I really am. But until the day when I can relax my brain enough to separate the movie from the book, be prepared for me to make some annoying comparisons afterward.

A trip to Florida never seems fully complete to me unless I’ve seen my favorite mouse…but my recent day-trip to both Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure didn’t leave me missing him as much as I thought it would.

Hogwarts, home to Forbidden Journey

While I’ll always be a die-hard Disney girl, I feel it is my duty to let Disney know that it has some serious competition in the form of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the latest addition to Universal’s Islands of Adventure.  Forbidden Journey, the simulated ride inside the hauntingly-accurate replica of the Hogwarts castle, gives big-time Disney attractions like Tower of Terror a run for their money by how technologically awesome it is. While lines at this point don’t see anything less than a 50 minute wait (even after entering the park at 9am opening time and bee-lining straight to the Forbidden Journey entrance) the queue area itself is impressive enough and well worth the time; from the greenhouses in the outdoor queue area to the Hogwarts classrooms you wind through in the indoor queue area (keep your eyes peeled for CGI-versions of Ron, Harry and Hermione that look amazingly real), everything you encounter is right on the money with accuracy of the magical world J.K. Rowling introduced us mere muggles to.  Be advised that bags of any size are not allowed on Forbidden Journey and guests MUST either leave them with a non-rider or store them in a locker. There will be a line just to rent a locker before you enter the line for the ride itself, so be prepared for this and check with one of the many employees working in the Wizarding World that you are entering the appropriate line at the appropriate spot.

The other two major rides in this area are rides that were already in Islands of Adventure previously and were just re-named and re-themed to be Harry Potter related – the rides themselves aren’t actually anything new. Dragon Challenge (previously Dueling Dragons) still offers intertwining inverted coasters for thrill-seeking adults, and  Flight of the Hippogriff (previously Flight of the Unicorn) is a tamer coaster for younger children.

Butterbeer and pumpkin juice tasting!

Take the time to sample the butterbeer and pumpkin juice; but be smart about where you go to do so.  In the middle of the streets of Hogsmeade you’ll notice large barrels with BUTTERBEER on them (and a likely huge line that winds in the sun around the street-area that’s near them) and you might think that this is the only place you can find your butterbeer sample.  To avoid some of the crowds (there’s really no avoiding ANY crowds at this point, due to just how new this section is), get your beverage samples instead inside the Hog’s Head Pub. Adjacent to the Three Broomsticks Restaurant, this area tends to offer less of a wait and significantly more shade.  For me, the pumpkin juice was the highlight – it smells and tastes like the entire season of fall, poured into a Harry Potter-themed cup.  The butterbeer was too much like soda for my liking; being one who does not like carbonated beverages, I did not find it overly appealing, but it has a unique butterscotch taste that I could see myself enjoying had it not been carbonated.

Exploding Bon Bons at Honeydukes

During my visit, I was only able to successfully enter Honeydukes candy store and Zonko’s joke shop, as there are lines just to enter all of the stores and shops in this area (especially Ollivander’s wand shop – expect waits as long as you would find at the Forbidden Journey attraction).  Both are amazingly accurate to their depictions in the Harry Potter movies, and allow you to buy familiar items such as chocolate-covered toads and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.  If you are looking for “generic” Wizarding World souvenirs (typical theme park mugs, tshirts, etc), your best bet is to visit one of the other souvenir shops outside the Wizarding World (such as the huge one at the entrance to Islands of Adventure) for more leisurely shopping and significantly less crowds.

The good thing about this area of Islands of Adventure being so crowded is that the rest of the park, as well as Universal Studios next door, were much more manageable. By utilizing the single-rider option on a vast majority of other major attractions, we were able to do just about every other ride we wanted to with a wait time under 30-minutes.  It is worth it to get a hopper-pass (or a multi-day hopper pass, depending on how long you visit) to go to both parks, so you can experience all that Universal has to offer.

Thanks to the Modern Day Pirates, I will be attending the Chicago Comic-Con as a member of the press. I am so utterly excited and thrilled about this!

So get ready, guys. Comic-Con is from August 19-22, so sometime after that, expect some juicy Con gossip!

I took the above picture at PAXEast and got an itch to rent The Calling last weekend. It starts off with a series of instant message texts across the screen where students are conversing about someone reading a website or watching a video and then disappearing or dying.  Imagine it as Fear Dot Com and Pulse (two really bad horror movies from a couple of years back) having a baby in the form of a Wii game. I played the first two chapters, both very spooky and dark with the occasional ghost popping in to say hello. You use the Wii-mote as a cell phone, so while you are nervously creeping through a house full of creepy dolls (ugh!) or an abandoned school, the phone will ring loudly and scare the pants off you. A child’s voice on the other end tells you they are on the way up to shake you (or something) which is wildly disturbing and certainly gave me the shivers. But the controls were off center and slight hand movement turned into giant screen movement. After about an hour I had to turn it off due to motion sickness alone.  Although it is definitely startling to get jumped by a ghost, if the game gets stuck and the same ghost keeps jumping you, the game play suddenly loses its eerie charm.

Last year I picked up Silent Hill: Homecoming for the 360. I hadn’t played any of the previous games, only watched others play them, so I wasn’t quite a veteran of the series (does watching the movie count?). Apparently, the Silent Hill games have very definitive strategies that I was unaware of, and the combat gets HARD. I loved the setting, a standard abandoned town and mutated creatures with drifts of snow and ash falling innocently around you, but I could only get about 1/5 in before I found myself in an impossible situation. Boss fight, no health packs, half life. Dying meant starting over in the same place, with no health packs and at half life. You can’t retrace your steps, either. The game only moves forward, so the only way for me to progress was to start over.  I was already about 7-8 hours into the game, so I admitted defeat instead. Sadly, I was having a lot of spooky fun prior to this setback and was disappointed, so in addition The Calling, I also acquired Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for the Wii. In the beginning, the game warns you that it will psychologically profile you to mold the game into ‘your worst nightmare’. Apparently, this means giving you a ‘Yes or No’ quiz that includes such questions as ‘Do you make friends easily?’ and ‘Do you enjoy sexual role play?’ Yikes-rated M for Mature, indeed. The premise is based on a past event-you are the main character speaking to a psychiatrist about getting into a car crash and losing your daughter in, of course, Silent Hill. I like it so far and intend to keep playing, but the ‘psychological tests’ make me giggle. For no explained reason, I colored this:

I like the Japanese survival horror games because they terrorize you psychologically more than physically. Chasing a butterfly in a quiet forest at night may sound peaceful and calm, but trust me, something wicked is certainly following behind. Western horror games tend to focus on monsters, zombies, and blood.  Your basic slasher film. I like the subtlety of the Japanese horror genre much more than the gore-fests the Western climate prefers.

For more writings from Jessica, check out her blog, “It All Started With Chrono Trigger…“

Disclaimer: I am not getting any sort of commission from the Awesome 80’s Prom advertising department to plug their show. I am just a girl (who wants to have fun, Cyndi Lauper style) who truly did have an awesome time at the Awesome 80’s Prom….as cliché as that sounds.

Bachelorette and bachelor parties in general make me roll my eyes. In recent years, they’ve gotten so stereotyped and out-of-control elaborate that they can often take away from the actual wedding itself – in my opinion, events such as weekend-long trips to Vegas involving strippers and booze (and penis-shaped paraphernalia for girls) just don’t seem necessary to celebrate the upcoming happiest day in two people’s lives.

When the original idea of going to Awesome 80′s Prom for my best friend’s bachelorette party was suggested, I am the first to admit that I was not 100% on board with it. Billed as an off-Broadway show, I did some research on their website and quickly learned it was not your typical “theater” production by any means – this was more of an interactive production where members of a fictional high school (characters such as the class nerd, the head cheerleader, and the “bad boy”) roamed around a club that was set-up like a high school prom, campaigning for student votes for prom king and queen. Not being a big fan of clubs/bars in general, and not totally sure exactly how an interactive club would work, I wasn’t too sure how the night would pan out. However, another round of research on the good old Internet taught me that Dustin Diamond (aka Samuel “Screech” Powers from Saved by the Bell) would be attending the prom the same night we would be going – and being the biggest Saved by the Bell fan out of anyone else I have ever met, this piqued my interest right away and sent me next to 80stees.com to find myself a Bayside t-shirt to proudly wear in front of Dustin.

Rule #1 – Dress the Part
Once you wrap your brain around the concept that you are a high school student in the 80s attending your high school prom, get prepared to dress 80s. Whether you want to get a replica 80s style pink dress a la Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink or simply tease your hair, wear blue eyeshadow and rock a side ponytail – get into it. You are also playing a part in this experience, and if you don’t look 80s in some respect, trust me – you will stick out.

Rule #2 – Arrive Early. It’s Worth It.
When you arrive at the prom, so do all of the characters in the show – they aren’t waiting backstage, they are arriving out front just as you are before the official start time. You will see the bad boy outside smoking cigarattes and jeering at the arriving crowd, the nerds arrive on scooters/bicycles, the football star roll up in a limo with his head cheerleader date – arriving early kicks your experience off right away, and gives you a great preview of what’s to come inside.

Rule #3 – Get Interactive
No one asks or demands that you seek out every character that is a part of the show; but many will come up to you and strike up a conversation with you – and that is the point! Some will even act as if they already know you/have seen you around school before – the best way to heighten your experience is to take their lead and interact with them. Blowing them off leads to the question of why are you even here in the first place – avoiding or getting annoyed at those directly involved in the show just wastes your time and money, as this is not a traditional club by any means!

Rule #4 – Seek Out Celebrity Prom Guests – Especially If They Are Dustin Diamond
It’s no secret that Dustin Diamond is not an A-list celebrity by any means. After Saved by the Bell, he garnered some pretty bad press with the release of his sex tape and his behavior on Celebrity Fit Club – and anyone who reads his book soon learns that he’s not the most affectionate towards his co-stars on Saved by the Bell. But Awesome 80′s Prom did a great thing hiring him – he is a fantastic addition to the already colorful cast of characters vying to be crowned prom royalty. Much more approachable than I was initially expecting, he is more than willing to take pictures with whoever wants one (even if he is making a face….see inset. I love it). My Bayside shirt proved to be a good conversation piece with him too, as he started talking to me by saying “Look at you! You’re ready for me, aren’t you?” He even offered amusing wishes to my friend on her upcoming wedding when we told him she’d be getting married – “Congratulations! Or should I say ‘I’m sorry’….I don’t know the guy!” While he is only at the prom for a limited engagement (hurry up and get there before August 28th when he leaves!), other celebrities not hired directly by Awesome 80s Prom (such as Jay-Z, Anne Hathaway, Molly Shannon, Adam Sandler and Tori Spelling) have been seen in attendance, so keep your eyes peeled.

Rule #5 – In Between Dances, Be Sure To Vote!
It’s obvious to point out, but if 80′s music is your thing, this is the place for you. After all, what other club is going to pump 2-solid hours of non-stop 80s music, from Girls Just Wanna Have Fun to Don’t Stop Believin? Be sure to take a break from the dancing to head over to the bar and cast your vote for prom king and queen – and don’t cut out early, to make sure you see the crowning of the winners!

Moral of the story – Awesome 80′s Prom actually IS awesome, if you’re willing to experience it in the way it was meant to be experienced. I found myself using the word “awesome” to describe just about everything that went on that night, and not because anyone was forcing me to. You will notice that more than half of those in attendance in the prom are part of a bachelorette party, and this actually cuts down on the number of traditionally skeezy guys who try to pick up girls at clubs – not too many guys are interested in paying to go to a themed-club that has a running plotline for 2 hours (however if you decide to stay at Webster Hall past the end of the prom, it is then turned back into a traditional club and the patrons are anybody’s guess).

Been to the prom yourself recently? Comment below with your review!