In this special Fourth of July episode, Nevin and Brandon recount what Paul Revere actually did on the night that started the Revolutionary War. Not only do they disprove some common misconceptions, but also address the recent truthiness of Sarah Palin.

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New episodes every fortnight on http://www.blip.tv/LaughingHistorically

Saving? What Saving?

There's your time down the toilet.

As a kid, my parents didn’t buy me too many video games. I guess they wanted me to play outside and junk for some reason. But I did have the original Super Mario Bros, of course, and I spent many happy afternoons navigating Mario over Goombas and through pipes, under bricks and blocks and over the heads of those evil, murderous Hammer Bros. I probably would have spent a lot less afternoons doing any of those things if I didn’t have to start from scratch every freaking time I popped the cartridge into my NES. Since I was a little kid when I was first playing these games, I wasn’t very good. That first level where the Cheep Cheeps keep trying to take your head off was seriously the bane of my young existence. Simply beating one of those levels when you’re six and still struggling with your coordination is a big deal. So after you’ve been struggling past all those suicidal Cheep Cheeps, who wants to start over? Well, there was no choice to be had back in the day. It was play till you lost all your lives/got tired/mom called you for dinner and then plan on starting allllllll over again the next time you get a hankering for some plumbers and turtles. Imagine if you could have saved? I would have beaten the game a lot faster. I might have had time for other things. (At least I like to think so.)

Can you imagine if games were still like this? If every time you loaded an RPG you had to start from the beginning again? You’d be playing the same game for months, skimping on sleep and leaving your system running 24/7 until it bursts into a ball of exhausted mechanical flames. I don’t even want to think about a world where you still could never save in a game. I’m getting queasy just thinking about it.

Continue?

I know I don't have to specify which creepy faced freak I'm talking about.

Speaking of the NES, there was this little game called Bomberman where your goal is to blow up bricks trying to find the door to the next level. (And God help you if you blow up that door by accident.) During your journey you have to avoid a bunch of the creepiest looking enemies you will see in any game – including this one thing (there is no better term) whose smile basically steals your soul. These nasty suckers and their alien looking pals are out for your blood. Your only defense is to trap them with your bombs and blow them up, which isn’t easy when they’re constantly on the move. When you eventually fail and lose all your lives you will find you are free to continue…if you grab a piece of paper and a pen and jot down the ridiculously long continue code. I remember yelling at my poor sister many times to grab anything that could write – pencil, crayon, blood, whatever – and scribble down this code so I could pick up where I left off. You had to be quick because they weren’t leaving that code up on the screen for you to copy down at your leisure. So it was always a mad dash to get that ridiculous sequence of constants copied down before it disappeared. (Why I didn’t have paper and a pen always handy when playing this game is also questionable – maybe I was just always optimistic that I wouldn’t need it because I was going to beat the game without dying this time. Yeah. Let’s go with that.)

At least this one's short.

The continue code drama is true of Zombies Ate My Neighbors as well – a great SNES title where you need to rescue babies, cheerleaders, photo snapping tourists and the like from the clutches of the undead. If one too many zombies chomp down on you or all the archeologist dudes and random dogs are killed, it’s game over, man. But hark! All is not lost! Because you get a continue code you can use to keep going! But even if you do manage to get it all down (and legibly), you lose all your items when you restart. This is kind of important in a game where a single key can mean the difference between failure and defeat. As far as I’m concerned, continue codes are basically as bad as not being able to save at all. They’re good only once and then you wind up starting over anyway. And that’s not counting all the times you miss, lose or copy down the code wrong. I’m very glad I don’t have to see continue codes in games anymore, because I’m still seeing them in my nightmares.

Memory Cards

In case you forgot already.

I never thought memory cards would make this list. For a long time we all relied on our precious plastic cards to keep our game data safe. During the PSX and PS2 era, it was the only saving game in town. (Okay, the PS2 did have a hard drive, but please don’t tell me you were stupid enough to spend money on it like I was.) When you wanted to save all you had to do was choose an open slot, and then let the game do it’s thing. If there was no open place to put the data, it was either time to start deleting save files from those games you knew you were never going back to, or head to the store for a new one. When I heard the PS3 was going to rely mostly on a hard drive to keep the save data, I wasn’t thrilled. At the time I was thinking: a hard drive in my system isn’t portable. What if I want to bring my save to a friend’s house? Well, as this article is about saving innovations I DON’T miss, my thoughts on the issue soon changed. Why? Because I realized – hey, I’m an adult. Am I going to need to bring my saved game to my friend’s house after I take the bus to their house after school? No. And how many times had that happened in my life previously anyway? Not many. Also, you probably had multiple memory cards over the life of your PSX and PS2.

Because those monkeys weren't going to catch themselves.

You ever forget where a file was and then have to find it? Because it’s a pain in the ass, and goes something like this: “Is it on this memory card?” Flip, flip, flip. “Nope. Next.” Flip, flip, flip. “Nope.” And repeat until you finally find it or you remember you actually deleted it in favor of your new Ape Escape 2 file. Of course the new systems still give you the option to save to an external memory source if you wish, but not all files will transfer over, so that’s something to keep in mind. (I’m looking at you, Rock Band.) So while I can’t say that I ever really hated memory cards, I can’t exactly say that I’m missing the experience.

Unlike those other aspects of gaming that have evolved over the years, I’m not sure where saving can really go from here. Downloading directly to some kind of file in your brain? Maybe. But I think that’s a long ways off. In the meantime, I’m fine with the way things are now, especially when I look back and see what we as gamers had to suffer through over the years. As long as the industry has learned from it’s mistakes and promises to never, ever show me another continue code ever again – I’m good.

In this episode, Brandon and Nevin tackle the history of probably the most confusing Holiday ever conceived, Easter. How did bunnies, eggs, and peeps end up being involved with the holiest day in the Christian Calendar?

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In this episode, Brandon and Nevin discuss animals who have valiantly served their countries throughout history, drinking and smoking their way into legend. Its history, but funny.

Watch this week’s EXTRA episode… Top Secret CIA Spy Cats

For the original post this episode was based on, click here.

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Church & State: The Church in the Dragon Age universe is represented by an institution called The Chantry. The Chantry for all intensive purposes is the Catholic Church. They have their hands in political discussions, the carry large quantity of influence across the land, and people follow their word unquestionably even when their orders are malicious or violent in nature. Really the only major difference is most of the clergy in the Chantry are female, which is not something represented in the Catholic Church. What surprised me about the story lines revolving around the Chantry was that the Chantry is most often the villain in the game. Many of the villains in the story line I progressed through (which is specific to key choices you make in the game mind you), the Chantry was the subject of corruption, negative influence, and murderous plots. Additionally, the Chantry repeatedly tries to influence the government, and often does successfully. Much of the population considers the Chantry’s word above that of the actual King of Kirkwall, and many of the King’s struggles in the game revolves around how to not upset the Chantry’s followers. The parallels between the government in the game and modern day religious conservatives are numerous. Conservative Political leadership in is afraid to ever speak out on something that would be antichristian without fear of losing a large chunk of their base. Additionally, the Chantry often sides with the control of Mages (though non-violently).

Mages: Mages in the game represent various things, all of which happen to be anti-church, and anti institutionalized religion. One of the main characters in the game, Anders, is openly homosexual. His lover in the game is made “tranquil” which in the story line is basically a magic lobotomy. But specific to Anders, his lover is basically given a “gay cure” through the Chantry. This of course causes a rift between Anders and the Circle of Magi / Chantry, and he swears revenge. Another character in the game, Merrill, is a Dailish Elf, whose magic is largely nature based. She is representative of various eastern / alternative religions. Her methods are considered “dangerous.” There are clear parallels between the Dailish in the game and Native Americans. The Chantry often attempts to convert them, and when the Dailish stick to their ways, the Chantry’s military arm comes to try and push them off their land. In the storyline I played, Anders in a revenge plot actually destroys the Chantry with a spell that murders everyone in the Chantry outright in revenge. Yet, the storyline allows you to justify his behavior and back him up in his course of actions. Players of the game have actually spoken out on this directly to BioWare saying that the game actually alienated straight male players. (You can read BioWare’s response here: http://www.joystiq.com/2011/03/25/dragon-age-2-writer-responds-to-complaint-about-bioware-neglecti/)

Radical Extremism: In what was maybe the most surprising to me storyline wise was the addition of a group of monsters called the Qunari, who are giant horned creatures, violent in nature, who are misunderstood by every other group in the game. Their religious zealotry revolves around following “The Qun,” which are their moral principles. Now here is where this really gets sensitive. The Qun in the game is pronounced in a way where I thought they were saying Qur’an a few times. Additionally, the Qunari release their wrath on Kirkwall in an extremely violent, radical extremist way, and the explanation if which might as well have contained the verbiage “infidels” a few hundred times. (It didn’t, but I promise you everyone who has played this game thought it at least twice). The Qunari are flat out supposed to be Radical Muslims. And they are portrayed in the game as MONSTERS. Qunari Mages (again, Mages being synonymous with homosexuals in various ways in the game) are chained and bound by the Qunari. They are called Saarabas, which translates to “Dangerous Thing.” And they are basically controlled for their own good. It is indicative of how Middle Eastern cultures are so intolerant of those who not of their belief systems, as well as women and homosexuals. The most radical groups actually kill those who don’t believe what they believe. Of course, that is in the most extreme cases, which would basically be the equivalent of the Westboro Baptist Church in Western culture. The Qunari storyline only indirectly touches the homosexuality story line in the game, while the Chantry storyline directly interacts with it. Ironically the Qur’an in real life doesn’t speak out against homosexuality, just certain sexual acts common in homosexual relationships. The Bible however does speak out against homosexuality specifically, like the Chantry does in the game (however those passages in the Bible were written in the Bronze Age, and are written on the same page as scripture stating any man without sideburns should be stoned to death. However, I may be editorializing a bit too much here). Admittedly, that last bit may be me reading way too much into it, but I found it to be an interesting comparison.

The Qunari storylines in this game are what I really found to be the most surprising. Sure, religion and homosexuality are certainly topics that will upset people, and those two things are in the forefront the most in the Anders and Chantry storylines, but the Qunari storyline is very clearly supposed to be relative to Muslim Extremists. And that storyline perpetuates so many Muslim stereotypes within the Qunari culture I’m really surprised the writers went down this avenue with the game. Anyone who has ever followed anything about Muslim culture after 9/11 can so easily draw so many comparisons between them and the Qunari that I really think the writers knew what they were doing when they authored the storyline here.

What is really so impressive about the adult nature of Dragon Age 2 is that it transcends the violence and sexuality of the game, but it really appeals to individuals who understand world events and culture. For that reason, Dragon Age 2 is a game FOR adults, not just a game with content only appropriate for adults. However with that ability I believe comes some responsibility. Just as I have editorialized a bit in this article, so do the writers in the game, making their feelings clear on certain institutions and lifestyle choices in the game. You can only go so far supporting one side of a adult conversation before the other side of it starts beating down your door.

Throughout my studies and research, I have come across many unusual and unique historical stories and anecdotes. Every week I will post one of these with a brief introduction and explanation. I hope you enjoy these because some of this stuff is too good to be true.

Here in the US of A, baseball is apart of our history. Some sports historians even go far enough to say baseball got us out of the Great Depression here in the States (pardon my European tone of voice). So, using my logic, if baseball got us out of the Great Depression that makes Babe Ruth the New Deal? Forget jobs FDR! Ruth hit dingers! Here are the six best Babe Ruth stories to celebrate the MLB starting up this week (apologies to Canada):

5) Homers? I also Pitch!- Originally, Babe Ruth was a pitcher. While playing for the Red Sox, Ruth supposedly helped pitch a no-hitter. Apparently, he walked the Senators first batter and began to shout profanity at the umpire. The umpire, Brick Owens, told him to listen to some Dave Matthews and eat some hotdogs. Ruth did not want to hear it and continued to yell. Long story short, he was ejected. But, Babe did not stop there. He charged Owens, swung at him, and had to be led off the field by a policeman. Another pitcher, Ernie Shore, came in to replace Ruth. Shore then struck out the next 26 batters. To this day, the Major League Baseball Association does not recognize this as a no-hitter. Why? Because you don’t mess with Babe Ruth and his hotdogs. Almost as good as Clemens trying to kill Piazza (picture on left).

4) Any Tips?- A reporter asked Ruth, “How is it that you always come through in the clutch? How can you come up to bat in the bottom of the ninth, in a key game with the score tied, with thousands of fans screaming in the stadium, with millions listening on the radio, the entire game on the line and deliver the game winning hit?” His reply was, “I just keep my eye on the ball.” Genius.

4) Stealing Second- One time Jon Goodman, I mean Babe Ruth, stole second…with the bases loaded. Who cares if there are base runners, I saved the economy baby!

3) Cigars- Ruth once smuggled a girl into his room after hours. Back then, teams made players sleep together. Ruth’s roommate, Ernie Shore, woke up the next morning after a horrible sleep (I wonder why) and saw six cigar butts on the floor of the hotel. Shore immediately asked Ruth why they were on the ground and he replied, “I like a cigar every time I finish.”

2) Contract Negotiations- In the middle of the Great Depression, Ruth was asked to take a pay cut. You would think this is understandable, but apparently Ruth could not give up his boozing and cigar smoking to help his team out. His contact was set at $80,000. Many managers would say to him, “That’s more money than Hoover got for being president!” Ruth would reply, “I know, but I had a better year!”

1) White Sox Party- The White Sox hated Babe Ruth. Simply because the man did whatever he wanted and still hit a ton of homeruns. So, being the schemer Shoeless Joe Jackson was (as exemplified in the Kevin Costner cinematic classic Field of Dreams), the White Sox took Babe out for a binger the night before a game, all on them. Ruth drank his weight and put the Sox under the table. Jackson believed there was no way Ruth would make it to the game the next day. Only a few minutes before his at bat, Ruth shows up and slams a homerun on the first pitch. While rounding the bases, Ruth said, “What are you fellas’ doing tonight?”

Honorable Mention- Just google Doc Ellis. I love baseball.

Classic Easter humor

Easter Parade (1948)

Generally the first (and possibly only) Easter movie that comes to anyone’s mind is this one.  Dancer Don Hewes (Fred Astaire) is devastated when his dancing partner Nadine  (Ann Miller), decides to break up their partnership to set out on her own. Don pics chorus girl Hannah Brown (Judy Garland) to prove that he can succeed in the dancing world with out Nadine. Full of old-time song and dance routines, this one comes highly recommended if you’re a fan of musicals (or Fred Astaire or Judy Garland).

Here Comes Peter Cottontail (1971)

Peter Cottontail (voiced by Casey Kasem; yeah, he’s old but come on, you know you remember him from when he hosted the the dance contest on Saved by the Bell where Screech and Lisa danced “The Sprain”) oversleeps when he is supposed to compete the next morning against the wicked Irontail to see who can deliver the most Easter eggs. Peter  loses the challenge and sees Irontail take over April Valley, where he makes numerous, unfavorable changes (such as making the only two egg colors gray and black). Peter makes his way out of April Valley and finds Mr. Sassafras, who presents him with time machine with a French-speaking caterpillar Antoine as the pilot. Peter and Antoine make their way back in time through all of the calendar holidays as they try to stop Peter from oversleeping and losing the contest in the first place.

It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown (1974)

What’s a holiday without a Charlie Brown special? (Side bar: how is there no St. Patrick’s Day Peanuts special? “It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown” exists, but there’s nothing for St. Patrick’s Day with Snoopy dressed as a leprechaun or something cute? Mind boggling!) Join the familiar Peanuts gang as they prepare for Easter and appoint Snoopy as the Easter Bunny. My favorite part is when Snoopy is helping Woodstock shop for a new home; Woodstock doesn’t get nearly enough play, which is a shame too because he’s so adorable. In this special we also witness Peppermint Patty having a difficult time making Easter eggs with Marcie, who somehow doesn’t have the slightest idea how to dye an egg. How is it that Peppermint Patty and Marcie have such large, annoying roles in both the Thanksgiving and the Easter specials??

The First Easter Rabbit (1976)

A Rankin/Bass production, Burl Ives (yes, the “Holly Jolly Christmas” guy) narrates the story of Stuffy the Rabbit (who looks suspiciously similar to Hocus Pocus, the rabbit from the Rankin/Bass “Frosty the Snowman”), a toy who magically comes to life and is given the job of delivering Easter treats to children in Easter Valley. Villainous ice creature Zero is determined to freeze Easter Valley to stop the holiday from coming – but Stuffy (with help from Santa Clause himself) sets out to make sure the children receive their treats on Easter morning.

The Easter Bunny Is Comin’ To Town (1977)
Tthis Rankin/Bass production follows very closely to the plot of “Santa Clause Is Comin’ To Town” (1970, also a Rankin/Bass production).  The Mailman decides to stop another rush of letters by answering questions about the Easter Bunny.  Fred Astaire (who seems to be involved with a lot of things Easter!) narrates the story of Sunny, a baby rabbit found and adopted by Kidville (a town populated only by children).  Sunny goes delivering eggs (which must be dyed to fool Gadzooks, the mean bear of the mountain) to a nearby town and discovers that there are no kids in the town – and  the rightful child ruler is being suppressed by his aunt. Citizens of Kidsville, with the help of Sunny and an old train engine, devise a plan to bring jellybeans, chocolate and eggs to this town. If you like “Santa Clause Is Comin’ To Town” and the Rankin/Bass stop-motion style of animation, you’ll likely enjoy this one too.

Bug’s Bunny’s Easter Funnies (1977)

When the Easter Bunny is sick, Bugs Bunny and friends try their hand at taking over the job. While one would naturally assume that Bugs would be the most suited for the job, Sylvester, Pepe Le Pew, Foghorn Leghorn and Daffy all want to try their hand at being the world’s most beloved rabbit.  Not on DVD, you’ll have to settle for watching this on YouTube or a VCR.

Tale of the Bunny Picnic (1986)

My all time Easter favorite!! Not necessarily a story dealing directly with Easter, it deals with bunnies and spring, so I count it as an Easter movie (yeah, it’s kind of cheating…but I love it so much I don’t care!).  In this Jim Hensen production, we’re introduced to the sometimes forgotten Bean Bunny (think the caroling bunny in “A Muppet Christmas Carol” and the star of the “MuppetVision 3D” attraction in Disney’s Hollywood Studios), whose brother tells him he is too small to help prepare for the annual Bunny Picnic.  Bean wanders off on his own and encounters the farmer’s dog, and tries to warn all of the disbelieving bunnies that the dog will ruin their picnic if they don’t do something. It’s up to Bean to come up with a plan to defeat the farmer’s dog by discovering what the dog fears and use it against him.  I hope and pray every year that this gets released on DVD, but for now I have to be satisfied just watching it on YouTube.  If you still own a VCR and want to buy the VHS, hop on over to Amazon (pun completely intended) and see what they’re selling for nowadays.

A Chucklewood Easter (1987)

Yeah, I’m still promoting the Chucklewood Forest friends from the 80′s that no one has heard of.  Join Rusty (fox cub) and Buttons (bear cub) as they are put on trial for stealing eggs after invading the secret home of the Easter Bunny. Also hard to track down, this is only available on VHS or via YouTube.

The Great Adventure Stories from the Bible: The Easter Story (1989)
Easter is, in fact, actually about Jesus and not bunnies and jelly beans, and a good way to teach  kids about the true meaning of Easter is via this Easter special.  I remember watching it in my CCD class, and it concisely explains the meaning of Easter to children in a way they can easily understand.  Told through the eyes of the Apostle Mark, you’ll see Jesus’ joyful entrance into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and then follow the story of Christ’s betrayal, arrest, crucifixion, resurrection and ascension into Heaven.

Yogi the Easter Bear (1993)

Not one I myself have ever seen, I discovered its existence while writing this article.  This special from the early 90′s showcases Yogi Bear and Boo Boo trying to rescue the kidnapped Easter Bunny; and is actually available on DVD, which I was not expecting.

Baby Looney Tunes: Eggs-traordinary Adventure (2003)

Granny reads the baby Looney Tunes characters a story about the Easter Bunny on the night before Easter, and Baby Bugs, Daffy and the rest of the gang set out to find out for themselves if the Easter Bunny is real.  Available on DVD and VHS, but still hard to track down from most sellers, and sometimes difficult to find in its entirety on YouTube, but worth it for just how cute the beloved Looney Tunes characters are as babies.

Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo (2004)

Roo, along with Pooh and the rest of the gang, pay Rabbit a visit to celebrate Easter. But instead of finding an Easter party, they find Rabbit holding a Spring Cleaning Day celebration instead. Roo tries to cheer Rabbit up and convince him to celebrate Easter. Seems to me like Rabbit consistently needs to calm the heck down in all of the Winnie the Pooh specials; if he mellowed out, I think the whole Hundred Acre Wood gang would have much more relaxing celebrations.

Got any Easter favorites of your own? Comment below and share!

In this episode, Nevin and Brandon discuss the romantic exploits of Benjamin Franklin, inventor of bifocals, the american postal system, the Franklin stove, and father of electricity and America.

This episode was based upon this post from Nevin, inspired by this post on the dating blog The Date Report.

Truly Awesome: The Eye of the Technodrome

Back in those heady days of the early 90′s, the Technodrome was Shredder’s pimp ride as he cruised underground in pursuit of Ninja Turtle Soup. I’m not sure where the rest of the Technodrome went, but the all-seeing eye does look a little worse for wear. We’ll just have to assume it is in a better place, but this topper would make one hell of a hood ornament for my car.

Odd & Obscure: Simpsons Halloween

From a Burger King kids meal promotion in October of 2001, these three Simpsons characters are a bit on the obscure side. This is no Bart & Homer, this is Grandpa Abe in a… vampire suit? And Apu in a giant pumpkin? Even my man Milhouse is dressed up as Radioactive Man, pointing out the huge missed opportunity to have a Fallout Boy figure.

Truly Awesome: The Human Bullet

Straight from the comic pages and FOX’s cartoon adaptation, The Human Bullet from The Tick is at his best in wind-up form. Press him down into the cannon, turn the screw, and let it roll around until BAM, he pops his head out.

Odd & Obscure: The Brain Bug

What were my parents thinking when they boxed this one up? I’m not sure I can display this in my house, and I definitely know it won’t be going in my cubicle. While awesome in some sense, it will continue being awesome at the bottom of a box in my attic. If only I had a little psychic Neil Patrick Harris to go along with it.

Truly Awesome: Robin Hood

Holy 1991! Robin Hood: The Prince of Thieves was a remarkable movie, and the manliness of Kevin Kostner has been bottled up inside this iconic action figure. Just look at those muscles! I didn’t know that Robin Hood spent so much time on Venice Beach.

Odd & Obscure: The Hydrox Truck

Some kids get Hess trucks for Christmas. Others get delivery trucks for lesser-known cookie companies. Don’t let anybody tell you differently, though, Hydrox is the original. Oreo is the imposter!

Truly Awesome: Dr. Evil

Complete with Mr. Bigglesworth! This one will be going in the cubicle, but it will wait until I am a manager, of course. This gets extra points for being an excellent McFarlane sculpt.

Odd & Obscure: Pets.com

Do I really need to say anything more?

But there have been so many great games released on the DS over the years, so you don’t want to let it go just yet. (And I’m not even counting the fantastic rereleases like Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy IV.) Here are just five of the many great games (or series) that you should definitely not miss before you start to let your DS collect dust for good. (And yeah, the 3DS plays DS games, but I don’t think too many people will be focusing on those when there are 3D games to be had.)

The Professor Layton Series

Apparently you can also brew poison.

1.       Because no one else can rock a stovepipe hat like he can. (Take that, Lincoln!)

2.       Because you need to feel stupid sometimes. Or smart. Puzzles are a two faced mistress.

3.       Because Luke and the Professor have a special relationship few other apprentice/teacher duos can match.

4.       Because few other games can boast they feature minigames involving hamsters, tea time and colorform like story books.

5.       Because each of the games has a story that will keep you playing until you’re fired/divorced/dead.

Super Princess Peach

We women can't help but cry all the time and make random vines grow.

1.       Because for once she does something besides get kidnapped by Bowser. This game was a long time coming.

2.       Because even though some of her powers might be kinda sexist, most of them are cool.

3.       Because of two words: talking parasol. (What? Mario had a glorified talking squirt gun.)

4.       Because while the standard Nintendo games are great, you need to recognize when they focus on a character that doesn’t end in “ario” or rhyme with “stink”.

5.       Because you kind of wanna know if she’ll be told Mario is in another castle for once. How you like it, honey?

The Phoenix Wright Series

Look at that bunch of freaks.

1.       Because you know there was at least one hour in your life when you wanted to be a lawyer.

2.       Because you can scream “Objection!” at the game and get weird looks from everybody else in the room/bus/church pew.

3.       Because they feature a myriad of engaging and engrossing murder cases that will keep you clicking for clues.

4.       Because it quite possibly features the most varied, interesting and hilarious cast of characters ever.

5.       Because everybody likes investigating crime scenes, otherwise there wouldn’t be 20 different spin offs of CSI.

The World Ends With You

Yeah, but will you take the credit card Richard Gere gave me?

1.       Because you finally wanna know what those player pins everybody keeps sporting at cons are all about.

2.       Because the music will annoy the crap out of you at first, but you’ll slowly start to secretly groove to it.

3.       Because it has one of the most original RPG stories ever. Seriously.

4.       Because the gameplay is fun, easy and customizable.

5.       Because you can go clothes shopping and play dress up and even get trash talked by snooty clerks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

Kirby Canvas Curse

Or you can make him dizzy.

1.       Because the pink puffball is always a good time.

2.       Because it makes great use of the touch screen, which is kinda the whole point of the system – yeah, I’m talking to you, lots of other games that don’t!

3.       Because the beauty of a simple line can keep Kirby from certain death.

4.       Because it’s a pretty original concept with retro Kirby touches.

5.       Because it’s out of print, so finding the game is half the fun!

In this episode, based on this post from Nevin, we discuss how drinking is at the backbone of American history. For a full account of the pre-constitutional convention blowout, read “Were the Founding Fathers Alcoholics?“

Throughout my studies and research, I have come across many unusual and unique historical stories and anecdotes. Every week I will post one of these with a brief introduction and explanation. I hope you enjoy these because some of this stuff is too good to be true.

Adolf Frederick Needs Some Tums

History is full of amazing stories of promiscuity, drunkenness, and of course weird deaths sometimes associated with the former and latter. From the rumored Catharine the Great getting jiggy wit it with her horse until she died of exhaustion to Grigori Rasputin handling more shots than 50 Cent, famous people tend to go out rather oddly. Apparently, Adolf Frederick tops them all though.

Adolf Fredrick served as the King of Sweden in the 18^th century around the time of the America Revolutionary War. However, you never hear or learn about the Swedish during this time because high school history teachers think the Swedish aren’t important. I disagree. IKEA is an amazing store. Anyway, Adolf Frederick, aside from being a fine entrepreneur in making snuff boxes (like the ones used for cocaine), died by eating too much. Apparently, when he wasn’t shooting up snowballs, he was eating. He ate so much one day that his body could not digest it all and his stomach collapse thus killing him. Kobayashi ain’t got anything on this dude. Frederick allegedly consumed a meal(s) of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, kippers, and tons of champagne. However, he did not stop there. He then ate 14 servings of semla, which is a Danish pastry, while guzzling down several pints of warm milk. Medically speaking, Frederick died of surfeit, but we commonly refer to it as Fat Bastard Syndrome. There should be a Man v. Food for this…

This Tank from Left 4 Dead is one hell of a model. All you need now is a small stereo to play the music that signals his ominous arrival.

Left 4 Dead’s Smoker has a special ability to frighten small children.

The Tank and Boomer plush toys are already available, but the Hunter won’t be out in stores until later this year. Doesn’t he just scream “cuddle time” to you?

A headcrab-ridden Half Life 2zombie poses alongside a prototype Portal drone, with the plush Companion Cubes hanging in the distance.

The Red Heavy from Team Fortress 2 looks like he’s having a great time.

A Red Heavy action figure with interchangeable parts (and Russian hat) next to a Blue Soldier statue.

This past weekend, while television sets were tuned to The Black Eyes Peas halftime show, the Lingerie Bowl or even the Puppy Bowl, my house was a bit preoccupied. After a recent trip to Japan where I returned with a suitcase full of Kit Kat varieties, the best way to share the wealth was a full-on taste test party. If adding wasabi flavor sounds like a waste of a cream-filled and chocolate-covered wafer, then you need to read this post because it was actually quite delicious. Step into the world of odd candy and read on to find out what flavors did and did not please our palettes.

The current list of Kit Kat varieties is a list that asks “why not” rather than “why”. With just over 100 flavors available, most are produced only in limited runs and then sold either regionally or seasonally. Given these circumstances, I was able to collect 11 different flavors during my trip, and they were more than enough to put every party-goers sweet tooth to the test. Here’s the full rundown of everything that worked and every thing that did not:

“Daigakuimo” (Sweet Potato):

Sold in the “Chunky” bar format, this is an intimidating Kit Kat, weighing in at nearly give times the mass of a standard wafer. But did it actually taste like a sweet potato? Yes and no. The flavor was definitely there, but the candy was sweetened to the point of nearly wiping the flavoring out. Some of our taste-testers commented the sweetness made it taste more like a yam. Perhaps something was lost in translation, but I felt it would still be a bit over-sweet even if that were the desired flavor.

“Matcha” (Green Tea):

Matcha, referring to the Japanese word for finely-milled green tea, is a very traditional flavor in that culture. Having tasted several different varieties of green tea and green tea inspired products while in Japan, I can say that Nestle got the flavors perfectly in this candy bar. On that scale of comparison, it measured closest to the Starbucks green tee latte due to both of the products using milk and a bit of extra sweetness. Our taste testers’ enjoyment of it simply came down to their natural preference for green tea. Those who enjoy the tea loved the candy. The most common adjective used when commenting on this flavor was “smooth”.

“Ramune” (Soda Drink):

This two-pack of soda-inspired flavors provided a bit of a shock to the senses. The first, what our group thought was a cola-based candy, actually proved to have a root beer taste. Some noted that the candy was completely unremarkable, but others compared its flavor favorably to root beer gummy candies they had eaten in the past.

On the other hand, the second soda flavor was a complete dud. What looks to be a lemon-lime soda tasted closer to a lemon cleaning product or “something I never wanted to taste in my life”. We’ll need to clean that taste tester’s palette before we move on.

Strawberry:

Sold in the bite-size, or as the packaging states “Big Little!” variety, these little Strawberry treats were actually pretty delicious. While considered a safe flavor when compared to some of the others we would later be tasting, some remarked that it tasted too close to a fruit snack and not a chocolate-based product, while many others felt that they could down a whole package if presented the opportunity.

Soy Sauce:

A regional flavor sold only in the Tokyo area, this flavor was the absolute hit of the party. It’s secret? Soy Sauce Kit Kats taste nothing like soy sauce. Instead, the comparisons we drew comparisons to french toast sticks or even better: a large stack of pancakes dripping with syrup and butter. It even smelt like a hearty breakfast from two feet away. The more enterprising foodies of our group tried to decompose these flavors and settles on a blend of butterscotch and vanilla.

Wasabi:

Another regional variety and another surprise hit, Wasabi Kit Kats are only sold in the Kanto region of Japan. Now before you judge this flavor, you may need a bit of a primer on wasabi in general. What Americans think of as wasabi is actually an imitation product made from horseradish, mustard, corn starch, and food coloring. Real wasabi root still has a sharp and spicy kick to it, but it does not have the offensive “burn out your nasal cavity” effect that horseradish can possess.

The Wasabi Kit Kat proved true to the real wasabi taste as the spice was dull yet warm and present mainly in the aftertaste. It even drew comparison to the effect of drinking a whiskey, as both placed that lingering feeling in your chest. After much prodding, even the most hesitant of taste testers were convinced to try it and it receive thumbs up around the room.

Strawberry Cheesecake:

The last of the regional varieties, this flavor is exclusive to the Yokohama area. It can be summarized in short by saying it never truly did taste like a cheesecake. The flavors hit in two waves: first, the strawberry which most of our taste testers already knew they liked and second, the cheese flavor, whose foulness we will cover a bit later when we discuss the Cheese Kit Kat.

Orange:

Another fruit-inspired product sold in “Big Little!” form, this one actually fared even better than it’s strawberry cousin. The mixing of citrus and cocoa is not an unfamiliar practice. Chocolate Orange, anyone? Nestle manages to pull this off just as well with their own little bite-size confection. The key to this variety was providing the sweet citrus flavor without the resulting overly-sugared taste that so many previous Kit Kat varieties had been plagued with.

“Sakura Macha” (Cherry Blossom Green Tea):

We already knew that Nestle could successfully put green tea into a candy bar with the smooth and delicious Green Tea Kit Kat, but what was to be expected when mixing in the flavor of a cherry blossom? The answer was a fruit punch kick that was present almost exclusively in the aftertaste, in this case allowing the two flavors to complement each other. File this one under “unexpectedly delicious”.

Cheese:

The bane of our existence; not a single taste tester would take a second helping of Cheese Kit Kat if given the opportunity. While most felt this variety would work best with the sharp kick of a Wisconsin cheddar, this instead brought out the feeling of a soft cheese that had sat out for a bit too long. The flavor even came complete with a truly gag-inspiring aftertaste. Perhaps it was our fault for not dressing up and sampling some wine alongside our Cheese Kit Kats, but whatever we did to cross the makers of this flavor, we were sorry.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this review of strange yet familiar candy products from across the globe. All of the members of our taste test panel were very glad they had the opportunity to sample such products, but everyone went home with a stomach ache. With over 100 total flavors, perhaps we will have a round 2 some day!

]]> http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2011/02/the-kit-kat-taste-test-challenge/feed/ 0 http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2011/02/dead-space-2-what%e2%80%99s-alien-for-holy/ http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/2011/02/dead-space-2-what%e2%80%99s-alien-for-holy/#comments Tue, 08 Feb 2011 01:40:19 +0000 Bob http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/?p=8852 The Original Dead Space was the first game of the “horror” genre that I ever took the time to ever play through, and I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised.  It was a high octane, psychological thriller than had an uncanny ability to suck you into the game and let your guard down, just when the incredibly creepy looking alien jumped out to bite your head off.  But besides being a horror movie style gore-fest, complete with the guy jumping out of the alley and making you jump out of your seat, it was a complete surprise to find the game had the ability to creep you out on a psychological level, and disturb the hell right out of you.  It was an amazing combination of innovative game play (complete with antigravity puzzles), amazing graphics, and perfect story telling.  Needless to say, when I heard there was a sequel, I couldn’t wait to turn the lights off and get scared out of my mind all over again.

Just in case you weren’t scared by the first Dead Space, the development team took the extra step of hiring a team of psychologists and experts on fear to make the game that much more horrifying, not only from a storyline point of view, but also on gruesome topics like human deformation.  If you don’t think this would actually make a difference for you, trust me it does.  Take it from me, i dated a Psychologist for 14 months, they are experts at messing with your head.  The result is an upgraded Dead Space 2, not just in game play, but also making sure the game gives you nightmares.

The game play is largely similar to Dead Space 1.  If you played the first, you can really jump into the second without skipping a beat.  The only major change to the game play in the antigravity portions.  In the first, antigravity puzzles were solved with your character (Isaac) jumping from platform to platform confusing the floor with the ceiling.  In Dead Space 2, your suits are equipped with mini jets that allow you to navigate, stop, and turn in mid air.  This also comes with the addition of a few antigravity mazes through big gears and lots of things that can chop limps off if you fly through them wrong.

What has also changed is that there are a wider variety of weapons, some of them actual guns (the first game the weapons were all drilling equipment…which was awesome).  However it is also impossible to get all the weapons on the first play through, nor is it possible to level up all your weapons and suits on the first play through.  This is something that causes you to really think about how you spend your credits, and what to level up, because spending credits loosely can get you to a point in the game where you are out of ammo and there are a ton of necro’s trying to eat your face.

One of my favorite aspects of the game is that Isaac in the first game is a faceless character with no personality and is a complete errand boy.  This game Isaac has his own agenda, makes his own decisions, and has a personality.  You learn to actually care for Isaac, and you are concerned for him, because on top of dodging flesh eaters, he is also having a psychological break, and is still morning loosing the love of his life.  The story telling in this game surpasses the first game, and leaves you clamoring for more.

All in all this game surpasses the first, and met my expectations for a sequel.  The only thing that it didn’t improve on the first was the length of the game.  Both games you can play through in 8 hours.  Which means i spent more time day dreaming about the game at work thinking about faking sick and going home to turn on my xbox than i actually did playing it.  I thought this game would be different, as it is two disks, but no, I played through it in 8 hours.  Luckily, the replay value on this one is high, and the second time through you get to keep all your weapons from the first go around.  All in all, despite its length, it’s worth buying.  Power up your saws and cut off some limbs kids.  You won’t regret it.

Rob DeSantis is a Comedian and Writer (not to mention video game nerd obviously).  Follow him on twitter here: www.twitter.com/RobDComedy

In the first video episode of Laughing Historically, on the week of his birth, Nevin and Brandon explain how Edgar Allan Poe was discharged from the military and booted from West Point, subsequently landing his first book deal. This. Happened.

1. Gears of War 3

The Gears of War series is known for not only pushing graphics to another level, but also introducing gameplay that no one has thought of (ie accurate third-person shooting and horde-mode). Word on the blog-street is that the Gears team has been working to get the game close to perfection and adding four-person co-op campaign mode.

2. Star Wars The Old Republic

All the way back in the beginning of the millennium, Star Wars Galaxies hooked me to the idea of massively multiplayer online games, but it was swallowed by the sarlac that was World of Warcraft. After five years of WoW, I am ready to return to my Star Wars roots. With a studio as masterful as Bioware finally working in the genre and wanting to introduce game-changers like story, worthy space combat, and characterization to MMOs, I am positive Blizzard finally has a worthy competitor. With Bioware’s original Knights of the Old Republic being among my favorite video games and the comicbook of the same title being my favorite monthly read, I will be lining up for this one and you should be too.

3. Green Lantern

Perhaps the nerdiest of all the DC Comics, a Green Lantern movie would have been a laughable pipe dream until Iron Man and The Dark Knight cemented comic book movies into almost their own category of movie. Judging from the trailer, we comic nerds may finally get a movie that doesn’t ignore the fact that the DC universe has almost unlimited dimensions… that’s right, get ready for some real geek out moments Ryan Reynolds fangirls.

4. Cowboys and Aliens

What needs to be said?  It is James Bond and Indiana Jones directed by Jon Favreau, produced by Steven Spielberg, and it is called “Cowboys and Aliens.”

5. iPad 2

Although everyone knows that the iPad 2 is going to happen, few have any outlook on just what it will be. With some analysts throwing huge numbers in their iPad sales predictions and almost all their competitors still vaporware, one thing is certain, the iPad is going to continue to be a big tech story of 2011 as it carves out a totally new niche of computing.

6. New Blink 182 Album

After getting their solo projects out of their system, Blink 182 is back together. Their last album showed a more mature experimental band starting to develop from the ashes of a pop-punk group, so it will be interesting to see what direction they take now that they are just too old to sing about getting drunk in high school and going away to college.

7. The Killers back together

Another band coming back from an extended hiatus is The Killers. They have had over a year to write new material and Brandon Flowers has said he has a few tricks up his sleeve for this album. The Killers are one of my personal favorite bands, so I put them on here because its my list. Why don’t you make your own list if you don’t agree with me.

8. A year of Conan!

2010 was the year that Conan O’Brien lost The Tonight Show, but gained a true bond with his fans. Although he was often in the news, Conan was rarely on television due to his contract with NBC. Now that he is killing it on TBS, it looks like we are in for Conan becoming a part of or daily lives once again. Rejoice!

9. A Game of Thrones HBO Series
Often referred to as the modern Tolkien, George R R Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series is the true spiritual successor to The Lord of the Rings – sorry Harry Potter. Thankfully, it has landed in the right hands. Instead of a highly abridged version of the seven book series, we are getting a full television series with the budget that only HBO can give it… also due to the highly violent and sexy content of the series, HBO is really the only network that would give it any money at all.

10. Verizon iPhone
Finally, all the people I know who have Verizon and try to explain how much better than an iPhone their Android phone is can stop lying and just get an iPhone as they have secretly wanted. Every sign is pointing to 2011 being the year that the Verizon iPhone finally comes out of hiding.

11. The last United State’s troops leave Iraq
On a more serious note, no matter what side you sit on the political fence, I think you can agree that the troops coming home from Iraq is long overdue.

Not Looking forward to

The Space Shuttle’s Last Flight

Without a clear successor in sight, NASA will retire the Space Shuttle in 2011. The reusable Space Shuttle’s nearly 30-year run was fraught with danger and budgetary issues as NASA’s budget slowly shrunk post-space-race. After it flies its last mission, The Space Shuttle program will have run 135 missions and that’s pretty darn impressive for technology that was mostly conceived in the mid-70′s. The only space flight my generation has ever known, the day the Shuttle Program ends will be a sad day for every nerd who once pretended his bed was a Space Shuttle.

Good news is that 2011 may bring perhaps one of the biggest events in human history, the first flight of the private space industry when Virgin Galactic launches their space tourism business. The date of this event is still forthcoming…

Fictional Events to Look Forward to

The Russian Civil War from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Good thing we are all well trained virtually for such an event.